A friend recently said to me, "you cannot expect healthy things from unhealthy people" and as simple as it sounds I think it is so true. As I have read from many other posts, both men and women, a lot of us have stated we did a lot for our mates financially, at home, cooking, cleaning, intimately, overall providing for them and we are left unappreciated, undesired, neglected and now alone. I truly believe my husband has emotional issues that prevent him from appreciating other people. Oddly enough one of my biggest supporters is my mother-in-law and in speaking with her about my husband's childhood and time before we met, it is amazing to see the differences in my husband's stories and my mother-in-laws stories. She has cried to me, so sorry that someone in her family has hurt me so. She agonizes over the fact that he blames me for everything in his life, he has no job, no money, he has no where to live, etc., yet he left me, just another human being who does not take responsibility. And in speaking with my mother-in-law this has been the case since early childhood. For a long time my husband blamed his father for a lot of things in his life. Sadly my father-in-law passed 2 years ago. My mother-in-law believes that since my husband's father has passed, the blame has shifted to me in full force. If my husband got "emotionally healthy" could he really change and would it matter. He has a girlfriend and has dissappointed my son consistently since leaving. Do I want someone like that in my life. My head says absolutely not. My heart, however, is still attached to the 15 years I have spent with this man and the dreams I thought we would share together.
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