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someone scoping out my teenage daughter??

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I got a nasty shock at the beach today. I was playing in the sand with the little ones. Savannah was doing the sand castle thing too. After that we took them in the water to wash off and play. As I was picking up the sand toys, Savannah is messing around with teh kids splashing them and getting Ryan to attack splash Garrison. While they were messing around, they happened to splash this guy who was about 40 years old. It was a very busy day, so there were LOTS of people around. I didnt think anything of it, til I looked right at him. He was laughing and splashing my kids and when he caught my eye, he quickly turned away and got out of the water. I didnt think too much of it, but when I looked up the beach, I saw him leaving..........AND HE WAS ALONE!!!! There was no one with him! No friends, no kids, no wife/gf. He was by himself!
I asked Savannah if he said anything to her. She said not really, but Ryan had happened to splash him and she appologized. Apparently he felt the need to join in as stated. This was right under my nose............as I was picking up the toys! My daughter is 16 on Wed, and she is very tall and VERY CURVEY if you know what I mean! She also looks at looks considerably older. It freaked me out to think that a guy who looked to be in his late 30s or early 40s was there by himself possibly scoping out young girls!!! Talk about a wake up call!!!
I asked Savannah if he said anything to her. She said not really, but Ryan had happened to splash him and she appologized. Apparently he felt the need to join in as stated. This was right under my nose............as I was picking up the toys! My daughter is 16 on Wed, and she is very tall and VERY CURVEY if you know what I mean! She also looks at looks considerably older. It freaked me out to think that a guy who looked to be in his late 30s or early 40s was there by himself possibly scoping out young girls!!! Talk about a wake up call!!!
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If the guy was 40 and splashed first by your son...and a splash fight ensued it may have been nothing more. Maybe the guy is divorced and doesn't have his kids with him and saw it as a harmless means of thinking about his own kids. You said it was a crowed beach. He may have just been a nice guy having fun and nothing more.
Yes it could have been something else but usually that is not the place where a pervert is going to try something. Just a thought... I wasn't there so it's hard to decipher.
Don't get me wrong. You're completely right to protect your kids. But in this case, I wouldn't worry too much about it.
There is no way to know what this man's intentions were. The most important thing as a parent is to EDUCATE our children and train them to be ASSERTIVE. So many times, especially with our girls, we train them to be polite at the expense of their personal safety. Its ok to be rude even if you're not sure of the guy's intentions. If you're uneasy, you don't have to ignore it and be polite. Don't be alone with someone you don't know.
Bottom line - you can't control what some guy on the beach or on the bus or at the mall thinks or does. You can teach your children to stand up for themselves and recognize and respect and reinforce their boundaries and safety.
God Bless.
I have a single male friend who LOVES kids, he just hasn't found the right woman yet. He used to "rent" my son just so he'd have someone to take to the arcade and do stuff with. Nothing ominous about it, he was just such a big kid and desperately wants to be a dad someday. He is also smart enough to know that just because he wants to be a dad doesn't mean he should just grab whatever woman comes along and marry her. He wants it to be the "right" one.
So, it may be more innocent than you think.
Sorry, guys, if I made it sound like I had something againt this guy. It just really gave me a wierd vibe!
I sound like a Chicken Little, I guess, so please forgive me...I just think that girls in this world (in general) get an extra role of sexual prey (not to discount the boys who get that role!) and it's a role that is dressed up and promoted and glorified. It's a money maker for too many people for it to stop from Madison Avenue's side, so you just have to do what you can from THIS side...the supporter of the girls being who they are, for themselves and no one else.
It's funny how many guys I meet who are as collegiate in their attitudes towards women and girls (yes, I'm including the 18-early 20's crew here) as they are but who choke when they realize that their own girls are going into that "sea of curves" pool themselves! I imagine it's a struggle, between the primal urges of attraction/reproduction and ownership/protection (the Father Incarnate!), so I'm not judging the internal drives. I am saying that if your daughters know that behavior (on their part and those who pursue them) isn't always indicative of intention or that behavior isn't always interpreted by another as it is by oneself, and that daughter can act in accord with her own preservation of HER value as a human being...then she'll probably do pretty well. Not a "no mistakes" of course, but then, who among us can claim THAT honor?!!! Just keep helping her to know and respect herself. If you do that, she will eventually not need someone else to keep her from harm's way because SHE will be the adult in her own life.
Holy crap, I really can pontificate, can't I?!!! (Thanks for not throwing tomatoes!) :->
No that was an excellently written post. I have 2 daughters and I will ALWAYS keep one eye on each of them. I will not be paranoid but I will be cautious.
Just always remind them that they're smart and good in and of themselves, whether they're "beautiful" according to Vogue or not! It's such an amazing thing to hear someone you love say "I'm PROUD of you!" for something NOT beauty-related. Girls really, really need to know that they're intelligent, capable people and that their own self-respect is more valuable than gold in the course of their lives.
EOP (end of pont.)!