From personal experience, I would say the fatal blow is probably the physical separation (she's on the road a lot). "Out of sight out of mind" is not to be taken lightly. I would guess that most relationships don't survive persistent physical separation. It appears to be just the way we tick. My $0.02.

You didnt mention whether or not you were rich. Some will leave for a sugar daddy, the sex they can get anywhere. With this $0.02 you now have $0.04 worth of advice.

I believe it is, in fact, the history of a couple that allows someone to walk away and start over. Particularly when that history has been strained and stressful. It becomes hard to see the good in the relationship when it is shrouded in anger, bitterness and negative emotions.

With a new person, you get a clean slate. There is an opportunity to do it differently, to bask in the glow of a new relationship. Of course, it won't stay that way forever but sometimes so much damage has been done in the marriage that it is very hard to recover those feelings ever again. I'm not trying to justify anyone walking away to be with another person. I'm only pointing out why it might seem easier to do so than to stay in the current relationship and try to fix it. Truth be told, ALL long-term relationships have problems. The trick is to continue to treat each other with kindness and respect in spite of the issues in order to avoid the 'too much water under the bridge' syndrome, whereby one spouse feels like the damage is too great to ever recover their feelings.

Oh boy; this sounds so familiar to me. First let me recommend reading The Five Love Languages. My stbx thought he was very loving and affectionate, because he told me he loved me many times a day, hugged and touched me constantly, brought me roses nearly every week for about 3 years, bought me gifts of jewelry. He said that he treated me better than any other person he had ever loved before (he was married 3 times before me.). That was all wonderful and I did appreciate it for awhile.... but then he told me that he would tell all his clients about the flowers and gifts, and no one could believe that he did that (it became a real bragging thing for him), it drove me nuts, I thought this was something special for just me. When he would buy a gift for me, he would frequnetly have one of his employees with, and then give me the gift in front of the employee and expect me to open it then. When I would say I'll open it later, he used to get upset. I always felt that the 'things' were nice, but that I also wasn't the only motive for it. This is one of his biggest issues in this divorce, 'how can a woman blow getting roses every week'? -- Again those are nice things, but I refer to them as the gravy, when I was missing the potatoes. What I expected love to me, is helping me in difficult times whether emotional or physical, spending more time with ME rather than working late at the office and sitting on the computer at home. Try to look at things from my point of view when in a difficult situation rather than just his own. Dealing with our sexual issue... he went on high blood pressure meds and lost all interest in sex, but wouldn't go to the doctor to discuss it, or figure out how to work around it. Yes he had viagra, but didn't even have the interest to take it, so the last 1-1/2 years was sexless. To me love has more to do with meeting your partners needs and sharing your own. The best of all words is potatoes AND gravy. I could live on potatoes alone, but I couldn't live on just the gravy. This book - the five love languages, gives creat insight to how people understand love, and more times than not we experience and understand love differently than our partner does, so it is important to be in tune with that. Unfortunately, I found this book too late for us. He has already shut down. Too bad, so sad.

It is not easy to blow off love. But you admitted that the relationship was difficult for a long time. Sometimes there comes a breaking point where one partner just doesn't have anything left to give to the relationship. After enough damage the bond is broken beyond repair. It sounds like you are taking the right steps in getting on with your divorce. No matter how it seems, the process is not easy for anyone. She just may have worked through some of the emotional side while you were still trying to repair the relationship.