
Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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My counselor keeps reminding me that my H is having an affair every session. She concluded that after I told her H spent long hours after work and Sundays away from home and wouldn't tell me where he was even got mad when I asked. I may be slow but I figured that out after a while.
H pretty much keeps a routine of coming home late Mon, Wed, Fri, and out all day Sun. What's bothering me is on these days he picks the nicer pair of underwear to wear. To me this is a sure sign of seeing the OW and expect to have some kind of "action". I feel sick.
H pretty much keeps a routine of coming home late Mon, Wed, Fri, and out all day Sun. What's bothering me is on these days he picks the nicer pair of underwear to wear. To me this is a sure sign of seeing the OW and expect to have some kind of "action". I feel sick.
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Of course, he has denies all allegation so far.
He's been acting cold and cruel for 2 months, so it's on the lacking side. So what's the rationale of lacking sex, if more sex is due to feeling guilty. Is it because of guilt as well or he feels he needs to be "loyal" to the OW? I know you were a cheater once, so just wondering if yo have insights.
The counselor told me to hire a PI too, and she asked what I would do if I find out.
As blatant as he is, yet he denies seeing the OW. He said he was unhappy, he wanted to be alone, he wanted "out". I suggested counseling and he rejected it. He is moving out next month.
Here they are:
Working a lot of OT?
Excessive use of the internet?
Unaccountable hours?
Hiding the cell/house phone bill?
Saying,"It's your imagination"?
Receiving hang up phone calls?
No longer interested in sex?
No longer wearing a wedding ring?
New sexual techniques?
Saying, "I need my space"?
Look at these signs and trust your gut instinct. I agree with BeckyW. Get your things in order and prepare yourself for the worst. Hire a PI or buy a GPS tracking system you can put on his car that will show you on a computer where he is spending his time.
I wish you the best of luck and hope I am wrong. This is a difficult situation to deal with but realize you have friends here at DS that will help you.
There was the "overtime" but no extra money, and then just weird little trinkets showing up at home.
He even used to bring our newborn son toys from her saying it was from him. She did not know about all the lies either until they moved in together just after I moved out.
I would say if you have the suspicion you are most probably right.
My ex h will most likely me on AMW or shot by some girl's brother for breaking their heart and emptying their bank account.
The phone bill being hidden yup.. paid in full.. and gone.. HE was making lots of long distance calls. I got a bill in the mail one day for him.. opened it.. it was for a post office box down the street.
I went ballistic.. went hunting for letters.. anything.. he carried everything to work with him in his bag... he had bought lovely gifts for HER and charged it on his credit card.
check bills... check phonebills, credit card bills.. check what hours of the day and frequency of the calls too.
It makes me sick to have to tell you all this... bad memories. No trust.