No you obviously do not love him or you would have not slept with someone else. You should not be selfish and let him go.

Advice, but not criticism?

Don't feel guilty about sleeping with another man while you were married, that will just waist energy you could use to have sex with the OM and break your husban'd heart anymore. This is all about you, and you don't need that bothering you.

Don't worry about how this will affect your daughter and how this will destory her faith in marriage. She'll deal with that in therapy later on. Remember, this is all about you right now.

Don't divorce your husband, drag this thing out to the bitter end. You need to be happy at any costs, what does some pain on his part matter when you've got someone you can sleep with? This is all about you, honey. Don't ever forget that.

I hope this is the advice you were looking for. I tried to keep the criticism to a minimum.

You need to go to councellling. You need to find out why you did this, and other ways to get those needs met. As for the marriage, yes you probably should give it a try, but you need to get yourself fixed no matter what. No one ever said your feelings would stay the same as when you got married. In fact, if you had listened to many other people, you would have known that they wouldn't. Marriage is a comitment not a feeling.
You can't stop the pain that you've caused, but you can acknowledge it and own it. If you haven't cut it off with the other man you should do it now. He won't be good for you in any case. Keeping it going with him will only cause more pain for your whole family. If you want out of your marriage get out first then find someone else. And don't think that you feelings for that man won't change over time either, then you'll be in the exact same place emotionally after a few years anyway. That's why you need councelling...Do you want to live this cycle the rest of your life? Life is not a honeymoon. You didn't say whose child the 3 year old is. If it's yours with your husband, you owe it to her to try to make things work for her family. Best of Luck.

You obviously cannot hack having a husband who is away from home a lot. I already know that about myself and would not marry such a person. If this is not going to change, you can expect the same results.

If you are still seeing the other guy you have answered your own question. Leave before it gets any uglier.

p.s. It's pretty UGLY right now.

just my advise...you need to look at your husband and ask yourself, "do i want to spend the rest of my life with this man"? the grass is NOT greener on the other side! also ask yourself what if the story was turned so your husband was seeing someone else... i totally agree with patti...marriage is a commitment. either commit or get out. (just my advise)

if you really WANTED to save your marriage you wouldn't be still seeing the other guy...think about it...you've answered your own question.

Are you kidding me? Boy did you come to the wrong place if you wanted to find someone to take your side in this. My advice is do something selfless and set your husband free, if even if does'nt want you to. Once a cheater always a cheater.

Why didn't you communicate your concerns (loneliness, changed feelings, depression) to your husband before seeking excitment elsewhere? The damage is done now and all parties are changed forever. What you need to do is get yourself to therapy. If you don't solve your emotional issues you won't be able to save you marriage or maintain another relationship. This is not about your husband or the fact that you don't love him the way you did when you married, the job out of town etc... It's way more selfish than that. You're willing to hurt your own family to get the excitment (the buzz) of a "fresh" relationship. Worse you're trying to ship the blame onto someone or something else.... Drop that other guy (hopefully he was in it for the excitment too), get therapy and try to save your marriage. It will take time to repair the damage. But be honest with yourself and with your husband. If you already know that you don't want to stay in the marriage, let him go. You can't keep him around just because you're afraid to be alone or until someone else shows up. And tell him why. He doesn't need to spend the next 10 years wondering what went wrong. He deserves that much.

I normally ignore post as such, believe me you dont want my advise or opionion anyway. However I couldnt help but notice a couple words of advise that popped up a couple times. Councellling and therapy to name a few. How about screw the shrink and just zip up your pantz. It would seem at the very least you could have done is given your family, yes I said family the respect of telling them your no longer intrested in them and you would rather go party with this other guy you just met. Course this damage is done and can no longer be fixed. So how about you do it now, Let them know that your no longer intrested in the mother/married part and move out. Your husband obvously has integrity and his childrens best intrest so it would also be my opinion to leave the childeren with the half that dont think with there sex organ. Give that man some piece and let him go, why tear his heart out any longer? Also for the record, I can honestly understand simply not wanting to be with another any longer. Lets face it, it happens. You can tell the differance right away. The party that is no longer intrested need not run out and fuck the first person they meet. Anything less than that is simply a slap in there husbands AND childrens lives. One day you will awake alone and wish to god you had not made that mistake. I could only wish I was there to rub it in your face.

This one is tough because you sound like my wife and I sound like your husband. What is important to you? The love of a good man or you getting your kicks with another man. This man you call husband obivously loves you deeply to forgive you and work to save the marriage. You can only think of yourself. This man loved you for you and yet you could not stay devoted and faithful. He needs a woman that can be a wife, that can be supportive, that he can trust, that can love him back for the good man he is. Dont shit on him anymore. Address your issues by going to counceling and then go to counceling together. Give him the piece of mind that he deserve.

You've gotten a lot of advice from this post, most of it harsh.

I will not heap guilt and take out any bitterness on someone who came to this site looking for help. Instead I give you this:

There is a book out by Mira Kirshenbaim called "Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay". It deals with the reality that if a relationship is not working, then there must be reasons. The book gives the reader insight on why it might not be working, and then gives the reader some tools to help determine if it is their best interest to call it quits - or to stay ad recommit. It does not preach, command or condemn, it guides.
CVGL pointed out that the frequent travelling was probably a serious issue. It's probably not something your husband can help, but you might want to explore just how serious an issue you have with that, and how it effects your long term happiness. However, I suspect there is a whole lot more going on that you haven't revealed in a single paragraph, that has given you serious doubts about your relationship - an afair is generally a symptom of something wrong. Counseling couldn't hurt.

To continue a relationship where one person is ambivalent will only make it worse for everyone, including kids, further down the road. There's really not much middle ground - it's a matter of staying or leaving. Good luck, I hope it works out best for everyone in the end.