Hello all, I am new to this site and am in need of support, advice, and just listening ears. After 9 yrs of marriage and three beautiful children I have reached the point where I know that I must leave. We dated in college if you could call it dating and for many wrong reasons got married without really thinking about what we each really wanted/needed. I will admit that I have had an emotional affair with a co-worker and husband found out about it. He was beyond upset---anger is the only emotion that he can express. I am very remorseful for the situation however, I cannot ignore the reasons why it all came about. Neglect, verbal and mental abuse, pornography (him viewing), emotional neglect, severe lack of affection. (I know you're wondering how did we marry in the first place!) So now I must escape this or I am going to die and that cannot happen. I don't know how to tell him. I don't know when to tell him. If I let V-day get here without telling him I want a divorce then he will probably go through the same meaningless motions that he always has and I just cant do that knowing that I want out. But I am worried about his reaction ranging from the silent treatment to punching walls. What should I do?
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