Can you trust him?
Has he totally totally broken off all relationships with this woman and will never see her again?
Can you resume your married life ?- it will be different, because he has made love to someone else.
Can you live in that knowledge?

What do you want to do with YOUR life?
Write down a short list of attributes a "dream" fellow would have that you would like to accept into your life.
(No-one will totally fulfil this, but they may get somewhere near - more to the point you focus on what you will or won't tolerate).

Imagine the scenario - he goes off to work each day, some evenings away? How will you feel, what will you think?

No one can answer these quesitons but yourself.

I can only speak to me - I would not go back, I would not be able to bear it. But I am not you. And I have no toleration level of infidelity.

Should you go back to him? Is this a pattern or just a stray this once? Can you change those things in you that made him seek an affair in the first place? Can he change the things in HIM that made him seek that affair. Once you answer those questions then the answer to this question will come to you

Perhaps counseling would help you decide if you want him back and if he wants you back. Sometimes the simplest words can change our heart, you need to be able to talk about what went on without blame....

I dont believe I just read this. "can you change those things in you that made him have an affair" You have got to be kidding me. A man has an extra marital affair and she is told to look at what it was that made him stray.
I am dumbfounded at this remark.

dont do it dont waste your time. She probably dumped him and he is running to you for sympathyt you should have none!!

Personally, I couldn't. I couldn't live with the fact he had been involved with someone else. Why does he want to come back? Has he given you a good reason? What is to stop him from doing it again? Has he given you any reason to believe in him and trust in him again? Has he told you WHY he did it in the first place? You have many questions to ask yourself and him. Me? No, I would never go back. I would move on and make a better life for myself without him, but I have sooooooooooo many issues with sex that I don't know how good my advice is. If you can live with it and forgive him and you think he's "changed his ways" then give it a shot. If not, I wouldn't. Good luck!

That is a difficult decision which must eat at your heart I'm sure..... if you do... be cautious make SURE he is 110% committed. Oh and most importantly...make sure YOU want this, listen to your gut it never lies.