I will start out by saying that I have known by current boyfriend since I was 12. We dated once when I was 18 but it was clear neither of us was ready to be in a relationship and we broke up. However ever since we've met we've been the best of friends. Even in the three year period when we both were in separate relationshps and didnt talk more than twelve times, whenever we did talk it was as if no time had passed. So last November we decided to give it another try. And things were great, then we made the mistake of moving in together (it was a mistake because we both came to the conclusion that we moved way to fast) and after that move in things started to spiral out of control. So over the past couple of months I have been finding and seeing and hearing lots and lots of things about him cheating on me. I then learned that he had sex with his baby's momma...he has a four-year-old who I've known about since before she was born...and got her pregnant while he and I were together. He told me about the baby but he told me that he doesnt remember having sex with her, the baby was supposedly born in June or July which meant that they wouldve been having sex BEFORE he and I got together. Here's where it gets messy, he lied. They really had sex in January and the baby was just born last month. Not only that but he's been trying to (I dont know if he's succeded) to hook up with girls online. I've gotten lots of different advice from people some sayign that he probably wasnt cheating he was just curious and that they've done the same thing (kinda of like manhood check to see if they've still got it-this is from males in their late twneties)and it doesnt mean he's running around on me. Others...women mainly...say he's cheating and want to know how I can forgive him so easily. He has not been staying at home, that was something that I suggested when I thought that would help the relationship not bring all this out in the open. At the time that I suggested we separate for a little bit I thought we just needed to take a break I didnt know all of this was simmering below the surface. So this weekend we agreed that we would take an official break.We no longer will discuss the problems we're having with friends or family because thats where a LOT of the confusion came from in the first place (although I had already pieced together everything before people started coming to me with stuff)and we decided to let people think what they wanted while we figure it out for ourselves. Here's the thing...I want to just forgive him and start over fresh. Whats bothering me is that I dont feel any emotion towards the fact that he had a baby by another woman while we were together, whats upsetting me is all the other girls he may or may not be talking to. I love this guy, and we've been best friends almost our entire lives. And until he decided to step out on me I thought things were great. I know he is under a lot of stress having just lost his job and with the lie he was telling me about the baby obviously he was stressed about that because he didnt plan on having a second one. He said that he was sorry and that it shouldnt have happened, which I know but I cant seem to get angry, or anything. I cried a lot when I had my suspicions confirmed on everytihng I just mentioned, so maybe thats why. But I just want to know should I give us both some time and come back to try it again or do I just let it go? I know that he loves me and I know that I am important to him, I just think he made some really bad choices and that he deserves a second chance. Am I being stupid?
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