Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
"I'm so done with you!
I want a divorce!
You just cant take it that I found someone esle and you just cant take it!"
Its been 2 months since I caught her on the phone with another man, and she confessed. I moved out 4 weeks ago. I did the crazy husband calling for about a week back in september. Then decided if I want her back (which I do!(so please don't tell me I don't)) I better leave her alone. Well we talk maybe twice a week subject one of two things when am I taking the kids or how much money she wants.
Just after she starts with that subject she goes on the attack. Case and point last night I sooooo wanted to call her after not talking to her since saturday (only a hole 3 days I know pathetic) she called asking for dah dada daaah MONEY. I was actually trying to work out how to get it to her as quick as possible so i could enjoy the simple fact she called me (pathetic) we did. I said good night. she didn't hang up. she always does this, she knows I'm dying to talk to her. she asked what I'm doing for thanksgiving I tell her I'm just staying in the apartment and just avoid the festivities. Silently hoping for pitty she she says "I know what that means" I didn't ask what she meant i just changed the subject. She said it 3 more times then just went ahead and finished what she meant "bet your just jerkin off all day" thats what you've been doin all the time "I know you" and It went down this road for awhile before I got the balls to just hang up.
Now she says we broke up because of abuse on my part (still after she was caught) and I beat myself up for awhile once she said that. Some of it is true but I may have blown it up to be much more than it was. I'm so confused about everything even whether I abused her or not.
SOMEBODY TELL ME WHAT SHE WANTS?
WHAT SHOULD I DO?
I tried not talking to her like I said it's twice a week, but the kids hurt in the end because I only see them about that many times because of our communcication problems. Then there are some fincial things and such that will suffer sooner than later.
I will not say I don't want to talk about the marriage but since she has not served me yet I can put that on the back burner. As my friends remind me it's only been a few weeks since I've moved out. It's still fresh. But even when I say nothing which has happened, I just turn into a punching bag. Once she spoke to me for a record 40 min with my only saying yes I hear you 5 times, she just beat me up about my faults and such.
HELP ME
PS I am seeing profesional help bye the way, oh and so she is though I don't see any progression at all.
I want a divorce!
You just cant take it that I found someone esle and you just cant take it!"
Its been 2 months since I caught her on the phone with another man, and she confessed. I moved out 4 weeks ago. I did the crazy husband calling for about a week back in september. Then decided if I want her back (which I do!(so please don't tell me I don't)) I better leave her alone. Well we talk maybe twice a week subject one of two things when am I taking the kids or how much money she wants.
Just after she starts with that subject she goes on the attack. Case and point last night I sooooo wanted to call her after not talking to her since saturday (only a hole 3 days I know pathetic) she called asking for dah dada daaah MONEY. I was actually trying to work out how to get it to her as quick as possible so i could enjoy the simple fact she called me (pathetic) we did. I said good night. she didn't hang up. she always does this, she knows I'm dying to talk to her. she asked what I'm doing for thanksgiving I tell her I'm just staying in the apartment and just avoid the festivities. Silently hoping for pitty she she says "I know what that means" I didn't ask what she meant i just changed the subject. She said it 3 more times then just went ahead and finished what she meant "bet your just jerkin off all day" thats what you've been doin all the time "I know you" and It went down this road for awhile before I got the balls to just hang up.
Now she says we broke up because of abuse on my part (still after she was caught) and I beat myself up for awhile once she said that. Some of it is true but I may have blown it up to be much more than it was. I'm so confused about everything even whether I abused her or not.
SOMEBODY TELL ME WHAT SHE WANTS?
WHAT SHOULD I DO?
I tried not talking to her like I said it's twice a week, but the kids hurt in the end because I only see them about that many times because of our communcication problems. Then there are some fincial things and such that will suffer sooner than later.
I will not say I don't want to talk about the marriage but since she has not served me yet I can put that on the back burner. As my friends remind me it's only been a few weeks since I've moved out. It's still fresh. But even when I say nothing which has happened, I just turn into a punching bag. Once she spoke to me for a record 40 min with my only saying yes I hear you 5 times, she just beat me up about my faults and such.
HELP ME
PS I am seeing profesional help bye the way, oh and so she is though I don't see any progression at all.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
in the majority of relationships everyone has some fault. you did things wrong, so did she. don't beat yourself up over it. she decided to move on, so you must too.
it's tough. i know you want her back, but i think it's time to face the music. don't be her punching bag anymore. whatever happened yesterday is over - don't let her walk all over you anymore.
I DON'T CALL HER!
My hope was I give her space and she comes around or at least sticks with what ever she want. Like in the begining it was leave me alone. I wanna try with this other guy. I want a divorce. "I want you to find somebody else".
Now she calls or text me for me to take the kids or for money, but actually only attacks. We sometimes don't even get to the point of her call. Or one or twice I'll call her phone to talk to the kids (no landline) and she gets right on the phone asking how I feel or something. Usually I just don't answer but that is exactly what I wish we could talk about. One time I we where talking about my taking the kids I mentioned I wanted to take them to church but I didn't want to deal with all the questions from them about what I'm going through. She asks "what are you going through". OMG is she just messing with me or what!
HELP
Bye the way I said nothing then. As literally nothing just dead silence I felt like a little mouse on a big bear trap.
Bye the way this guy as of last week has now been down graded(for really real or fakey fake) to:
He's just a freind
It's really not that deep
I never put him on that level
Svetik it's funny you use the word irrational thats my mothers favorite word for my ex. She uses it just as often as the perverbial "time" is. But since I left out the part where she is calling me and it seems (hope it's not just denial) that she masks it with the kids, and or money. Do u have anything to add.
No offense guys it just seems like another women would be more intuned with her behavior
I like #6 reply. I get the calls at first every few weeks, wanting money, or just ONE thing she just HAD to have. I ran to the bank, I ran to drop something off for her as she still refused to see me. SHe said she was coming to get her stuff, I worked a double to be here for her, then she called last minute with another excuse.
She still calls, about a "mug" she left or the dogs bark collar that she wants. For the dog she stole.
So dude, I get the calls all the time and truthfully, I agree with #6 still. I think when I get these calls is when something has happened and she needs to talk to me, or wants to but doesnt know how. One time her sister was coming down to visit me and I have refused to talk to my ex for months at this time. So she tells her sister, if you get him on the phone to talk to me, you can take the dog with you for the weekend. So I get on the phone first thing out of her mouth is a lie. she says"So you wanted to talk to me?" I was like, we havent talked for months and this is how you are starting it off. So then she goes off. all the calls I havent returned, I am just a prick, she wants her mug? her sister laughed even at that, her freakin mug??
So yeh, I have gone throught that and truly believe that the response in #6 if a good one.
You must of quit huh ChiTownBe?
Or have u guys divorced?
she wrote me last, just last week. nothing so far this week. but the emails are coming more often, so something is amuck.
if she would just stop calling I could probably move on ... instead, it is just taking longer.
Dud you have to decide what your limits are, and do you want this to work. To me, someone who treats someone so meanly, especially someone who cares about them, might not be capable of really loving you as much as they should.