I left my soulmate 2 days ago...He was my abuser for such a long time and I thought he was better. He was not hitting me anymore, but instead using mental and emotional abuse to control me. I thought I was crazy because he said I was the problem. I no longer got along with his daughter and didn't want to be around her anymore. After all this time with him, separations, counseling and abuse, I still love him and consider him to be my world. We fit like a puzzle together. It's not just that I am comfortable with him. He is my rock and what grounds me when I need to come back to reality. He has been my everything and I gave him all of me. The cheating started at the beginning of the relationship and I went back time and time again because I believed in us and had hope for a future. I wouldn't have gone back if I didn't feel such a strong emotional and spiritual connection to him. I don't know who I am without him. I feel I need him in my life to breathe. Please don't judge me. I start victims abuse counseling next month and will be able to speak to someone about my insecurities and desire to run back to him again, but for now, all I have is this. I don't have any friends or support. I am alone. I know I shouldn't go back to him and at this point, I am not going to, but I am still speaking to him and it's destroying me. I don't know how to be strong and not need him. I lived to make him happy and please him. I am empty and starved for his touch. Any suggestions or advice? Thank you
Just checking in. Hope everyone is doing the best as can be. Im doing ok. Just getting older and feeling more "old age" achs and pains . Ha ha. We're still waiting for the banks ok on the house that we bought. To be honest..... .it may not work . Credit score is very good now ,but some old bills show up. Sso, i think maybe 50/50 chance. My wife will be divestated if it doesnt go through. ...