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Sex w/an ex?

deleted_user
deleted_user
I have read several journals, where people are still having sex w/the stbx - I was just wondering what that was like (not in detail) but emotionally- don't get me wrong, I miss the sex, the closeness, that I had for 23 years, but I can't imagine going that far knowing he has been such an ass to me. I wouldn't think it would do anyone any good - am I wrong? Its not going to happen but I was curious - is this a way people think they will get there ex back or is it just a comfort zone - I think I could understand it being a comfort zone - because at this point, I want another relationship but I can not imagine being that close to have another relationship right now - but who knows what tomorrow brings :)
deleted_user
deleted_user
It's hell, don't ever consider it.
deleted_user
deleted_user
There are certain advantages to the ... transaction. Hopefully, there are no STD's to worry about.
It is cheaper than a purchase.
It is easier than a pick up.
It requires not as much dishonesty.
It serves a need.
Quick, convenient, somewhat satisfying.
A great opportunity for a terrific joke - after the roll off, and as heads lie on the pillow, one of you can say "My husband/wife doesn't understand me."
If it brings pleasure, or great joy or increased happiness, is it so bad?
Only you can know.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I see alot of ex's live together so maybe thats the case. I think as long as you are "working" on the relationship its ok, but if the marriage is "over" whats the point? I can't judge though. Sex with your ex or sex with a stranger? Sex with a "date" or sex with a friend... can't really say what is right or wrong. I think its a real personal question and depends who the two making the decision are. I know I am no help...
deleted_user
deleted_user
it's hard and it was a comfort zone to me with hope attached. my stbx used to cheat on his girlfriends with ME!!! (yes, while we were married) this time around, it just won't happen...don't want it! it's over, that aspect too!(and i don't expect him to try althougth i wish he would so i could tell him NO)
deleted_user
deleted_user
Like I said at this point no way - he has been seeing someone and God knows what diseases a woman has that would do that with a married man. It's like being a virgin again I guess, I will be very picky...even though that didn;t work out the first time :)
deleted_user
deleted_user
It's horrible. Just screws everythings up. And you'll just end up regretting it.
deleted_user
deleted_user
At this point - no way - he loves me but no in love with me and I do not feel from what has gone on that he is committed to me - I will not allow myself to be used anymore - he admitted that he would got to bed with me in a flash - personally unless he is willing to work on the relationship to heal it I will not be used in that way by him ever again. It hurts too much to have to deal with those feelings as well,
deleted_user
deleted_user
Looks like the males are pretty much against it, perhaps we should take their advice? why is that --- care to share?
deleted_user
deleted_user
Could not, Should not, will not ever have sex with my stbx again.
deleted_user
deleted_user
My husband and I llive in different states and I knew when we saw one another again we would have sex. i even told him. He, on the other hand, denied that this would happen. Needless to say he came around to seeing things my way. WE still love one another and there was no hiding it. Everytime we got together it was beautiful, better than during the marriage. That is one of the only times I can say we truly made love. It was personal on different levels for the both of us. I think it's helped with getting past the anger in our now defunct marriage. Hell, I might do it again when I see him this Christmas. I miss him. I love him.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Dont do it.. it messes with your head.... try a friend with benefits before you have sex with the ex... not a good idea at all..

At least friends with benefits is more honest and it can also mess with your head but it can give you pleasure while you work through your own shit.. and no one needs to know except the two of you....
deleted_user
deleted_user
Wouldn't touch her w/ a 10 foot pole. She's been with 4 knowns and lord knows how many others in the last 4 months.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I was reading a divorce book it says that as you withdraw from your marriage. You hit a horny phase. Maybe this is why it happens. We all are missing intimacy. I am! But I don't want it with him. He's likely taking to many risks. I hope he gets arrested for soliciting a hooker soon. (hubby is a porn addict gone wild)
deleted_user
deleted_user
yea, I miss the intimacy - don't want to find someone just for that reason, there is more to life, its only been 3 months since I left and I am not ready for a relationship, besides no matter what kind of whore-lovin-dog he is, I am still married even if it is just by paper alone.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Don't do it!!! It is such a bad idea. I am still traumatized by the experience. It will completely mess with your head. Once I found out that my husband was having an affair with a married woman, I slept with him a few times because it meant that he was cheating on her with me. Of course there was no logic to this totally stupid plan, and I regret it dearly. Please learn from my mistake.
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