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sex question part two

deleted_user
deleted_user
Okay, some confusion here. IN the interest of brevity perhaps I did not give enough info. The question really is: do you believe that actively, not passively- like in subtle foreplay, initiating sexual activity when one party is asleep is acceptable behavior? Obviously one would not sleep through the entire event, but even if they did that is irrelevant- the question is: is this behavior acceptable?
deleted_user
deleted_user
Ummm, personally I liked it when my partner woke me for sex by intiating foreplay. But that is just me
deleted_user
deleted_user
I guess it depends on the situation. I felt like he was always "in the mood" and I was always exhausted from doing all the parenting. So no, I did not appreciate this. It actually just pissed me off!

However, these were my circumstances. I could see where it could be nice...

Question: do you think the answer would be different for men than women? I think so. ~P
deleted_user
deleted_user
Personally, I would have loved it if my husband had paid more attention to me (sexually or otherwise). I was always lying in bed thinking of creative ways he could seduce me, which never happened. It was always the same, boring routine. (yawn) Waking me up with foreplay would have been a fun little wake-up call I'd think, especially sine most men's testosterone levels peak in the middle of the night. Bet ya guys didn't know that! (Love taking a Human Sexuality class!!) Just make sure both parties want to actively participate in the sexual activities...and maybe keep some mouth wash by the bed just in case. ;-) As far as the behavior being acceptable it depends on the people. Each couple is different, with their own beliefs, norms and values. Some might like it, other might not. Only way to know is to ask, I'd guess. Communication is important in relationships, as I'm sure you know. (Bet you can't tell I'm a Social Work major, LOL). Hope this helps! Smiles!!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Speaking for myself, It wouldn't be only acceptable, but would be a welcome change from the norm. Quite a turn on I would say! But that's just me!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I guess I'm still confused on the question. Could you give us an example? Like for me, I would be in a dead sleep (seriously - in the middle of the night) and STBX would start 'rubbing' my private parts in an attempt to initiate sex. I wasn't usually very happy about it - geez, it's 3am and I'm sleeping. When I brought this up in counseling (with STBX sitting right there) the counselor (a woman) said "you didn't punch him the ribs. That's what I would have done" (she was only half-joking).

This is different from waking your partner up 20 minutes earlier in the morning for a little 'snuggling'.

I guess if both partners seemed to enjoy being woken up like this then it's okay. If one partner is clear (like I was - over and over again) that waking me up at 3am for anything but an emergency was not okay and my STBX kept doing it anyway - that was not acceptable behavior on his part. Hope that makes sense.

Acceptable if you're okay with it, not acceptable if you have previously made it clear you weren't okay with it. If you never said no then he would be correct in assuming it was okay.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hey Gemini - Were you actually married to my stbx??? If not, he has a sexual clone out there... lol ~P
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