This depends so much on the other parent. The best advice I can give you is to just focus on those babies and your parenting with them. It is one of those things that will be out of your control. Just love on those kids

I was hoping for a "co-parent" too.

Honestly..unless there is really good communication..it's easier to just do it yourself.

The times I have tried to involve my ex..it just made things more complicated.

it is often really difficult for my daughter when we have done things all together. i think that she acts out a lot in order to bring her dad and i together in settling her down. we also have very different ideas on parenting, so i have a hard time watching how he interacts with her. . . good luck, though.

Sounds to me like he's doing a good job at being a co-parent. Remember, you each have to rebuild your lives and that's why parenting agreements are written: to ensure you both continue to have a right AND responsibility to parent your children, but it also ensures you have the ability to start a new life.

I have recently started telling my ex that I will not be her baby sitter. That is often what ex'es conveniently become....they love their children and jump at every opportunity to be with them, yet each ex has to tend to their own needs for sex, companionship, socializing, fitness, etc.

I will not babysit my children so that she can go get laid. NOT happening. So, the best way to avaid this dilemma is to stick to the schedule as it was defined. Maybe someday things will be different, but you divorced eachother for a reason and you each now have a right to pursue happiness and to make a new life while you incorporate the care and nurturance of the children....not the needs of the ex...that is for them to manage on their own.

I'm not looking for a babysitter. The boys involved are 16 and 12, old enough to stay by themselves, separately or together. I have always been responsible for their care and don't mind continuing to be.

I'm not looking to get laid, either, nor am I looking for time for myself. I'm looking for him to ask me how I think his children are handling the divorce he wanted but I didn't.

I'm moving on with my life by returning to school and building a support network; he's moving on by returning to his addiction.

Our younger son hypothesized this morning that "maybe Dad's getting sick of us." I don't think this is what co-parenting should be.

Be careful, you may get what you ask for!
I find that once you get used to it, it's easier not to have another person involved in decisions when their focus is elsewhere, and you are the appointed one to carry out anything that may be decided.
You do need to respond to your son, perhaps by asking why he thinks that, and if the reason is the limited time your X spends, just say that this is the plan right now and you are all trying to get used to it, and that when you were all living together it was easier to be spontaneous about doing things but now it is more planned, which has its good sides and its bad sides.
If you want to kind of punish him for being the one to do things to break up the marriage, or you want him to acknowledge the harm he has done to you all, you'd best deal with that on your own - I have a hard time thinking you are going to get any satisfaction in that pursuit, and there is no point in dragging your kids into it either.
You've left the door open, but you can't make the horse cross over (is that how the saying goes?).