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sell or keep the marital home?

deleted_user
deleted_user
My STBX and I have both agreed to stay in the same town that we currently live in so the kids are in the same school and they can be with both of us as much as possible (hopefully a bike ride away). I am currently living in the marital home with our children until our settlement is determined. We are trying to figure out -- who gets the house, if either of us. The equity in the house is pretty much preventing either of us from buying the other one out. Housing prices went sky high in our area since we bought nearly 20 years ago! So the question is -- if we sell the house, how will the kids feel if we buy two new homes in the same town as the house they grew up in? Will it do more damage to their already tender hearts to know someone else is living in their home or should one of us try to stay in the home as long as possible? This is so hard because we both love our home dearly as do the kids -- it has become almost like another family member.

I know that there is another option of co-owning the home and selling at a later date. But financial experts do not encourage that as it makes you tied to your ex for a long time. Any thoughts?
deleted_user
deleted_user
Your kids will be hurt by your divorce, regardless of what you do. It sucks, but..
Trying to hold on to the past for them will not help.
A new house for you is a fresh start.
And stressful and crazy making and all of that.
But, it sounds like since neither one of you can buy the other out, it's time to let it go.
Good luck.
deleted_user
deleted_user
it will be interesting to hear the responses to this question for me as well. i am still in the marital home WITH stbx and the boys. he'd really like for me to stay in this town so the boys can continue to go to school here but i dont know if i can evenr afford an apartment. neaither of us can afford to keep the house. he says i can rent with the child support money but cs is for NOT only a roof over their heads. i dont think id want to co own and be tied to x like you said but if it means i can stay in the house and not move the boys at all. so be it.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Is it possible to refinance the house and take some the equity out of it? In my case I'm giving the house to my stbx but she will have to refinance to get my name off the deed. I think she could refinance for more and buy me out if needed. We don't need to do that in my case though.
deleted_user
deleted_user
The fact is your going to be tied to the guy,through your children, whether you stay in the house or not.

It's tough decision but I stayed and will buy him out when my girl turns 18.

I decided that losing there Dad and the house they've both grown up with was too much. I know how lucky I am to have that luxury, but I feel good about it.

The first year was hell being here with all the memories, I strongly considered getting out of here, but I"m so glad I didn't. i think it was the right decision for my kids.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I once read of a judge that ordered the parents to keep the family home with children in it, and to take their visitation or custody separately there, and stay elsewhere otherwise.

Since everyone loves the home, is this possible for you?
deleted_user
deleted_user
We sold our family home and purchased new homes. We both regret it..I think it would have been easier on the kids to stay in the original home. There also cost involved with moving that need to be factored in.
deleted_user
deleted_user
make it an exciting time for the kids, being in on looking for two houses and picking out rooms and so on, it's not the house thats important, it's who is in it, and the love. i would love to see more people that would like to live a bike ride away for the kids sakes and not their own selfish reasons. kudos to you mom and dad.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am trying like hell to stay in our home...but its hard to do when you only have one income. I have decided to give up the weekly dinners out, and the Hollister clothes (for the boys) for more affordable options because I think staying in the home will mean more to the kids in the long run. I don't know if I will succeed, but I have to try.

If my husband and I do not work things out, I will eventually refinance and buy him out...we have only lived here for four years, so there isn't too much equity (especially now that the values of homes are dropping).
deleted_user
deleted_user
If it is appraised by a proffessional appraiser it shouldnt cost much. A few hundred dollars. The housing market is down everywhere. After 20 years your taxes should be lower than if you just moved in. Property taxes on a new home will be at maximum amount.

Next Tuesday they will lower Interest rates again. Maybe a refinance on exsisting home would be the way to go.

I would not co own anything with my ex.
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