
Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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When my wife left me only two weeks ago I already had issues with my self worth. There was a general tone of inadequacy that seemed to underline many aspects of my life. However knowing (or at least believing!) that somebody loved me and wanted to spend the rest of their life with me gave me strength and made me feel needed. Now she has left me and I am at an all time low. I am just about coping on a day to day basis which is all I honestly believe I should be expecting from myself at this stage. But, when I try to consider the future I can't believe that I have anything to offer anyone. How do you start to feel good about yourself (and even like yourself). Should I be proactive about this?, is it even important at such an early stage after the breakup? HELP
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As long as we define our own worth in terms of others' capabilities to love us and appreciate us, our broken spirits will never heal and we will never feel better about who we are.
You are new in this process. What you need to do is be patient with yourself. Allow yourself enough distance from your wife and your relationship so that you can see yourself for who you are, and not who you became in the marriage.
Getting out and being with people might provide a little distraction but what I found most helpful was taking time to be with myself... looking deep inside, asking most difficult questions, acknowledging that my reality only existed in my dreams... If you face the TRUTH, you will understand youself better, and you might even learn to like who you are.
Second.. Get some books and network like crazy. This site was instrumental to helping me realize first and foremost I wasn't alone in my feelings.
I too put all of my self worth and based it on my marriage. It has taken me a great deal of therapy, tons of networking and reading to realize that I'm not a failure and I am worthy.
Good luck to you.
You have worth as a person or else you wouldn't be here, so you just have to tap into it and build on it. At rock bottom level a person contributes carbon dioxide for plants. You can start from there to begin building up your awareness of the many ways you contribute to the world around you - you just haven't recognized/acknowledged many of them yet.
Be aware of how you talk to yourself and any time you start to run yourself down replace the negative with a positive statement. Write down goals you want to achieve, starting small, eg: making a person smile today, and continue adding to it as successes come more and more often. The list will give you something to work on every day, and being able to cross something off feels good. Also, reward yourself for your successes.
Sometimes when a person is really hurting the best thing to do is reach out to help someone else - volunteer at a retirement home, help at the food bank, volunteer at your favorite charity.
Take care of yourself and become your own best friend, talking to yourself as a best friend would, forgiving yourself when you need to, cheering you on to goal achievement when you would rather hide under the covers, and believing in you when you didn't think anyone else would. "I believe in you" and "I love you" should be common statements to yourself.
Also, realize that people avoid those who are negative, so while you're in this devastating time period you're going to have to fake a positive attitude until it becomes actuality. Make yourself smile for at least a minute when you're feeling down - you'll be surprised at the results.
The above are quick tips you can do immediately (Yes, start working on them now!), but therapy and reading books will help, too.
Reaching out and asking for help is a brave step to take so you're already on the road to success. Keep at it, you're worth it!