sounds like your self worthiness is just fine, as is your awareness. you have the power to decide what you do, and have to take your own consequences for it. if you don't like the consequences, change the actions.

Stay out of his bar. Low self-esteem and drinking cycle are reinforced there.

If you cannot stop drinking at other bars, go to an open AA meeting and see whether this is just a temporary problem.

Go to AA

try something new. make a list of things to do inplace of drinking... like exercise.. etc and don't hang around people who you associate drinking with. .if you can't do this for a week. then you have a more serious problem and should consider AA. Best of luck. .let us know...

I have seen some amazing multi-dimensional healing in people I know who have gotten into AA. I really think you can't go wrong if you go there and give it a real try.

I know how you feel because I've been boozing way too much lately as well. I'm going to stop drinking for a while because it can make the depression worse at times. You should stay out of your ex's bar. I've done the "drive by" a few times at my ex-wife's house. I run into her and her boyfriend together too often and it hurts. I try to stay as far away from where she/they might be as I can but I can't help it when I happen to run into them. I know I wouldn't go into an establishment she was in much less owned.

Drinking fixes it for the night, but makes it worse for tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after that. You'll never get anywhere if you are doing it drunk. Trust me, I know.

I'm doing the same thing but I feel that it helps me get out what I need to get out. However, it does increase the depression so I know it can't be good for me. I also drink a lot because that's where the person I've fallen in love with hangs out. It's gotten so bad that I don't even remember some of the stuff that I say or do when I'm NOT drunk...now that's pathetic.

I'm sorry, this has touched a deep wound in me that is no where near being healed.

I'm begging those of you who are in pain and using alcohol or other substances to numb the pain, please STOP. Please stop right now.

I lived w/someone who numbed the pain. It was pure hell. The coping behavior that comes along with drinking is insidious. It's contagious. It makes everyone crazy.

And it affects EVERYONE around you, especially your CHILDREN.

Please get counseling and deal with your pain drug free. It isn't easy, but you are worth it.

Please...you all are my lifeline here.

are u sure we're not twins???

I also have upped my self-destructiveness. Went from no more than 3 smokes a day since grad school 10 yrs ago to 2 PACKS a day after he left. 1 glass of wine to 3+. I am cutting myself soem slack for now but I know I can't continue this in the longterm. Getting drunk and not being able to work the next day is a big REd Flag. Cut down NOW. You don't need the additional problem of addiction.

I think a lot of us are guilty of this self medication. I know I haven't been getting drunk, and haven't had any problems the next day, but the more build up the habit, the more it starts to worry me. I have always been able to cut myself off, and not binge, but it's more the fact that I've drank just about every night since right before I filed (I filed Oct 1). I'm more concerned about the habit, and the long term effects on my body - instead of the more obvious, immediate issues.

I'm with ya Boutros. Don't get drunk, but have a "habit" now.

Slap,Slap, are you there? listen to what you just said read it out loud, yu are telling yourself something.

I am not judging but this made me aware of my own habit that is forming. ANd I know the effects acholism has all the family.
So Thank you for waking me me up and making me thnk about this.

I definitely engaged in frequent over-drinking for several months after my ex left in February. It devastated me...still does. Mine got out of control to the point that I was arrested for DUI in August. Did I mention that I am a police officer?