My husband has been back for almost 2 weeks now. He has been putting forth alot of effort and really trying to be the romantic guy. The problem is Im not ready to recieve his advances. It always ends up with the question of sex at the end and I dont want or have the desire to just yet. I told him when he came back, that he needs to understand that the past 4 months have been really hard and its just not that easy to put everything in the past. That I need a little space and time...and mostly understanding. Well of course he said fine so I would let him come home. Well now, because Im not jumping him and begging for sex...Im a horrible person. I have told him nicely...all the kisses and hugs are nice (its like every 5 seconds..literally)but its a bit too much. That he doesnt need to overdo it. Well that means I dont love him. I DONT let anything go. So last night he asks if we can kiss a bit..I said yes...well before you know it hes trying to get laid again. I told him Im sorry but Im not ready yet. He says..oh you dont love me anymore? I said thats not it...He says be open and honest...What a crock of shit. He only wants "open and honest" when its the response he's looking for otherwise, again,..Im a horrible person who is just out to hurt him. Why ask the f'n questions then if you dont want the answer? Anyway...part of our problems in the past was he was a "cutter" He kept this from me the first few years of our marriage. When I found out..I told him it scared me. He said he wouldnt do it again. Well he started therapy and medication but last night after the "no sex" arguement..he went into the bathroom and CUT himself. BAD. I think it was still bleeding this morning. Probably about 14 cuts..4 that were really deep. The thing is..hes apparently done this since he was very young. I cant deal w/it. I dont want to tell him to leave again..and be the cause of him hurting himself anymore..but I dont want to watch as he hurts himself either. Its very difficult to be around. I love him...but Im not in love with anymore...and these episodes of his arent helping me to regain that LOVING feeling. PLEASE HELP!!!
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