I start school in 4 weeks..I will also be moving out of my shared home with my husband and into the hospital dorms alone to live for the next two years. We will be separated at this time heading for divorce (I want, he doesn't). I've been in school before while married and it was very very difficult...but I didnt' feel like this. I feel getting into this program is IT for me...is my chance to finally break free....to reach a goal in 2 years and have a career I can support myself on. I can then file for divorce..and break away from a marriage that is toxic. I have a scholarship...a free room and a contract for a job after I graduate. It took a great deal of work for me to get here and I know its a huge blessing...but why the hell am I so terrified? I've been nervous before to start school...but not like this. I don't know if subconsciously I'm worried of screwing up an opportunity that could save my life or what, but I'm totally scared to get started. My confidence is in the crapper and my normally hyper organized self isn't prepared. I'm not happy...I'm not excited...I'm not anything. My escape is finally within reach and I almost feel like I'm a deer caught in headlights. What is wrong with me?? Can someone please send a good healthy dose of guts my way?
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