Ouch. That hurt. I hope you realise that the stunt was most likely staged and timed for maximum effect.

No matter. You cannot force someone to change or to treat you with kindness. You can only TRY to ignore the obvious taunt/jab at your gut and move on.

Sorry you are going through this. It trully does SUCK!

I am so sorry for your sadness. This separation stuff is new to me too. It has been a few months. It does get easier, some days are better than others. you have found a great place for support. glad your here

I wish I knew the answer -- i am 3 months into it and I think I am past the worst of it -- but I have thought that before, and then have to go thru some more extreme sadness. I really do feel better today, but my experience is tellling me that it still will be sad sometimes -- all I know is that it gets less intense over time. My first time divorcing, so certainly am no expert, just sharing what it is for me. This website has probably speeded up my "process" tho, I think i would be be way further behind without the wonderful people here.

This is my 2nd divorce. 1st was 10yrs, this one 5yrs. My 2nd wife knows how hard it was on me the 1st time. When she was ending it with me she said "I don't want to devistate you like the 1st, I just don't love you no more and I can't even be in the same bed with you any more. I'm sorry."

I don't get it....

This is really a hard time for you keep your friends close. This site has helped me alot as well.

Don't try to "get it" Try to find out what you want from a woman. We tend to pick the same type of person over and over. Take your time and get to know someone REALLY well before even calling them a friend. True friendship is rare. True love is true friendship taken to the next level. Just my opinion! Good Luck!

Dave, I don't think any of us realy "gets this". I've made a bit of progress, but I'm very fortunate...I moved a few states and 1000 miles away...just to avoid things like this. When I get out the Christmas stufff...I know i'm going to find a bunch of his stuff...debating now..ship it back, toss it or take to salvation army!

I am also only 3 months into my divorce. I'm doing better but all those ugly emotions are only under the surface. I have emotional breakdowns every now & then. The therapist says sometimes you just need to feel the pain so you can move on & heal. It takes time. Lots & lots of time.

Hi Dave

I think I can relate to the long deep sadness. I don't think I want all the pain to go away. . just at least begin to hurt less. It must have been hard for you to see that. I think it would tear my heart out.

I am right there with you there is an underlying sadness in everything I do. I look like I am doing great and everyone around me says how great I am doing...they don't know inside the sadness can be overwhelming. I am able to have fun sometimes, then I miss him again.
The motorcycle thing was just mean and she totally planned it to hurt you...so sorry.
Take care of you right now remember you inner child and what you hoped and dreamed about and find a way to bring some of that into your life. Or you can volunteer to help others with bigger problems than yours, I am trying that this weekend. We can get through this and we will be happy again. I guess we just have to be patient and keep busy so we don't fall into the despair too deeply. Busy busy is my advice and exercise it really helps with mood, sleep, and stress. Hugs to you.

Part of healing is attitude. Let yourself be sad sometimes thats ok. But gain a positive attitude, set some goals and things will start to change for the better. The truth is you will remain sad for an awful long time if you dont take steps to accept and harness the positive power of change.

hi, i too wondered that 7mths ago it just seemed to never go away. Today i can say that time does help i read alot in the beginning looking for scriptures to help with the feelings of betrayal and hurt.i had never really learned to forgive anyone i just shut them out of my life not wanting to be hurt again so i spent some time reading about about forgiveness and it is true forgiveness helps the person hurting.no matter what someone does to you never let yourself become bitter or mean .you may never understand the reasons but trust God he knows all things and will deliver you to greater things.It's really not what we go thru it's how we go thru it.and how we land that matters. may God heal and keep your heart close to HIs.

I'm only 2 months into the seperation, and the sadness hasn't even dulled.

I agree with 31yrs, that was completely staged. No doubt about it at all.

I'm sorry it was a bite into you, but fear not- it's most likely a mask she's wearing to do the "who's more over who" bullshit.

Maybe she rented the guy:)

Hugs to you-

I don't know how long this has been going on for you, but it takes time. When you love someone you can't just turn a switch off and be done with it. You will get stronger in time. Its been a year now since I found out my X was seeing another man. I am now a year later, starting to feel stronger. Hang in there. You will make it.