Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
My boyfriend of 3 years dumped me right before New Years Day 2007. I moved out and he said he is my friend, I am beautiful, he loves me, we will keep in touch and maybe get back together in the future. Anyhow, 2 months go by and I have had almost zero contact, only to get my things once. I would like to see our dog as wee had agreed we would do. He doesnt respond to my emails or phone calls. Anyhow, I find his personals ad online. I decide to pose as a younger thinner woman named Diane and find out what is going on. Anyhow, it was awful. He started talking about his disgusting pathetic ex(me), how he had got rid of me at last, how lazy and fat I was. He said he hadnt loved me in years, that he had just stayed with me because he is nice. He said I couldnt take a hint, that I was as thick in the head as I was in the body. Then he starts trying to impress "Diane" with his penis size and massage skills. It was so horrible, I was shaking IMing him, he told Diane very personal things about me. I finally told him that it was me. He emailed me later and told me I wasnt his friend and that I'm crazy and that what I did wasn't nice.
I was sick to my stomach for days. I cried so hard I thought my head would burst. It has been almost a month since that happened and I still get a sick feeling when I think about it. How could I have been so wrong about him? His last emails he says that I have misunderstood and twisted his words. But those were his exact words. There is no mistake. He says he still cares. But, he wont let me see my dog unless I give him rent money because he is broke again.
I want revenge. I want him to suffer like I have been suffering. I think about it a lot. How can I make him suffer? I hate him soooooooooooooo much. He is evil. I hate feeling this way. When I think that way I feel hateful and that hurts me too. I try to think that Karma will take care of his evil ways, but its so hard. How do I let go of this anger? Does anyone else have this problem? Any comments or advice appreciated.
I was sick to my stomach for days. I cried so hard I thought my head would burst. It has been almost a month since that happened and I still get a sick feeling when I think about it. How could I have been so wrong about him? His last emails he says that I have misunderstood and twisted his words. But those were his exact words. There is no mistake. He says he still cares. But, he wont let me see my dog unless I give him rent money because he is broke again.
I want revenge. I want him to suffer like I have been suffering. I think about it a lot. How can I make him suffer? I hate him soooooooooooooo much. He is evil. I hate feeling this way. When I think that way I feel hateful and that hurts me too. I try to think that Karma will take care of his evil ways, but its so hard. How do I let go of this anger? Does anyone else have this problem? Any comments or advice appreciated.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...
I'm sorry about your dog. Any way you could "dog-nap" him? My stbx left our dog and 4 cats here with me and the kids, so I am glad I never had pet-custody issues!! Good luck! ~P
Revenge is not worth it unless you want to look like a desperate psycho who can't let go of a relationship. Move forward and the pain will eventually go away. You will find someone out there who will truly love you for who you are. Good luck!
rise above it. adapt and overcome as my brother says. take time to worry about fixing your life instead of destroying his. he will probably mess his life up without help.
revenge can be a double blades sword. it can cut you as deeply as it does him. becareful.
My feelings: "The best revenge is living well."
Get on with your new life with a vengence. You're pretty angry right now. Capitalize on that; use it as motivation to better yourself, your life. As time goes on, that motivation will come from your growing sense of accomplishment, your improved self esteem instead of your anger so much.
Something else--I had to laugh as him trying to impress "Diane" with his winkie size...unwittingly talking to YOU... BWWWAAAAAHAAAAAAHAAAAAA!!! Personally, I think there is some revenge consolation in what you already did...What a maroon!!
he/she would be better off with you anyway. My stbe told my son if I let him take Marcie (pommerinan) for the weekend, he'd let her starve, and wouldn't even bother to walk or offer water. And to think I thought he loved her like a family member too. She made 7 yoa on Christmas day. As far as men getting over it faster; I think it depends on the man. If he's an ass in the relationship he'll be one getting out of it. Mine was all about his "possessions". He loved "his" money more than me or the kids and the dog. I still have anger issues with him. But I'm beginning to resign myself that I just don't care anymore. Love and hate are very strong emotions. I learning to be indifferent. At least today I am. There's always tomorrow to flip out again.
good luck, and don't rush or ignore your feelings. I've been journaling in a tablet since I left and am already on my second one and just about ready for the third.
First of all...KUDOS on having the brains to pose as a "potential" for him.
As much as it hurt (and I know what it feels like) it's better that you know what kind of person he really is. He isn't nice! Not one bit of him is! Anyone who would say such things about another person is the idiot in this.
You are so lucky to know what you do about him. Other women may not be so lucky. As a matter of fact, the sort that would respond to the size of his penis, well I wouldn't dare compare myself to their likes.
It sucks...it's painful...and yes, you are better off without him because you CAN do better! It's time to bring back your confidence and move on to better things.
As for your dog, if it is yours, could you consider small claims court? Or even talk to the police and see what your options are?
Hope things get better for you very soon!
When I feel really mad at him, not just normal mad, but the really bad kind of mad, I give myself 5 or 10 minutes (sometimes longer if I really get going) and imagine out all the bad things I could possibly do to him. Hanging him by his feet from a tree and using him as a pinata is my favorite. If I take the time to do that then I can usually move on with the rest of the day feeling a bit better. At least until he does something else stupid... It really does help to channel the anger and hatred into something constructive. That is about the time I tackle the soap scum in the shower, or the rest of the house cleaning that never seems to get finished. By the time you get done, you're too tired to be angry.
I really hope some of this helps, but the major thought here is to just imagine doing it, not really do it.
ps- that was great with the internet thing, I wish I could do that, just to see what he really thinks about the kids and I...
About the dog. Since he's really a little maniplulative creep use that in your favor. Offer to BUY the dog. That is if it is really the dog this is about & you aren't just lying to yourself by hanging on by a dog ;) Now if it is really the dog ....BUY it. Buy it and give it to someone who will let you have access. Yes you shouldn't have to buy it, but buy it for your piece of mind and forget him forever.
I want you to think about something....your X is so pathetic he can only attract women by manipulating PITY. OMG his big chick magnet is pity. Think about that. After a while everybody sees through that except people who also have problems of their own.
How sad, really. And he can't pay his RENT? How pathetic is that??? And asking you to pay for it?
Honey, this man is what we call a con artist. Your best revenge is to really understand that he is a foolish child, and decide you are much better off to have learned this about him and move on. YOU are a real person, and deserve to find another real person. Some day you will just shake your head and laugh about this.