Well he got served with a restraining order yesterday and I feel horrible. I wish I never left home in the first place. My family is being torn apart over this, my oldest has taken the postion of taking care of his dad who is falling apart and it is killing him. He came home screaming last night because I was upstairs with my youner son and granddaughter since he is afraid if his dad drives by it will set him off. He called later a mess saying I hated doing that to you but I can't have a war under my roof. I don't blame him he doesn't know what to do about all this. I told both my sons that I love them but I won't be back without an invite. I use to spend 2 to 3 days or nights a week there with my granddaughter now I won't being seeing her unless she is dropped off here. Weds is usually girls night there, but I guess I will be sitting in then too. I have made such a mess of things. I wish I could just crawl under a blanket and never get up.
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