Since he left 7 weeks ago my STBX, who rents a house only 5 minutes from mine, has had our 10yo son 3 nights and 4 days. In the first couple of weeks after he left he would swing by my house and see my son...but I put a stop to that because he generally just hugged son and said "love ya buddy" and then sat chatting with me so I said he should come by and pick up my son and take him somewhere instead of just sitting at my house. Anyway, it was planned by us that STBX and son would say goodnight on the phone every night. That hasn't worked out well either because after the first week or two I stopped dialing the phone and handing it to my son and now I just ask him each night to call his dad....recently he has started saying no more and more often. One time I heard him say to his dad "I thought you might call me once in a while too." Last week he begged off of dinner with his dad after his dad invited him to go out of town and then not only canceled that but also said he could not have him for his appointed weekend period. So, finally, here is where I am asking for advice -- do I force my son to call his dad each night and should I have made him go to dinner? I have to admit that the angry evil person inside of me gets some satisfaction when my son doesn't want to see or talk to his dad but I know that is wrong so I beat it down....but still, do I have to force the relationship, especially when my STBX doesn't seem to be doing much to hold it together anyway?
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