I have been divorced a couple of years and know i was not supposed to marry my ex. We both contributed greatly to our marital woes. But, we have kids and I tried to stay to keep my life long dream of an intact family together for a very, very long time and then I got tired and gave up. Now, I have a forever broken family. the pain of regret from not trying just a little harder and/or longer and knowing I have to accept this new way of life is excruciating. I don't really miss him much; I miss the family unit being together. I guess I put most of my dreams of happiness into having our family stay together and knew it would be all but ruined for me if I let it go, but I still let it go. By the time I wanted to talk and work things out, he was already getting the divorce papers together and now it is the life I never wanted for my children... separate houses, separate holidays, separate enjoyment of future grandchildren. All the time will be split in half. Forever, and ever, I will have half the time/opportunity to see my children that I did before. I mean, I was miserable with my ex, but this is worse. It may be easier if he had initiated the separation, but it was me. After separation though, I knew I didn't want to be with him anymore. Does all this get better, honestly? I need some feedback from people's experience here, real, brutally honest answers, please? I know I need to forgive myself. I know God has forgiven me.. and I have forgiven my ex. I know my prison door is open but it is hard to walk out of it. It is so hard to feel peace and some joy while at the same time knowing my family is broken. I wish I could write myself a letter at age 23 and tell myself how each bad choice was going to affect me and how we all have to be so, so careful about every little and big choice. Why can't we go back and have do-overs? i know we can't. I know God will use all of this, but will i have this pain forever? I know worse things in life could have happend and am thankful but I feel like I am slowly bleeding to death, still. Help?
Posts You May Be Interested In
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...