Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I finaly told my husband it is over and I am leaving him. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. He told me even though it didn't seem like it, he still loved and adored me. although his feelings have changed and he is no longer in love with me . he still wants me to be happy. We discussed visitation, our finances, selling the house ect. He said he has nothing left to live for. I told him that was his choice. He has a wife that loves him and a daughter who needs him but he just threw us away. He stopped loving me and wanted his friends more. I am pretty sure he isn't cheating. I told him that we don't want the same things anymore. My husband is so screwed up right now and depressed. It's like he is having a mid-life crisis at 32yrs old. I feel bad leaving him like this. But this has been going on for well over a year and he won't help himself. I have made dr. appointments for him but he doesn't go. I can't force him. He started drinking casualy. I just wanted him to fight for us. To say that he didn't want me to leave. I feel horrible. I hope time does heal all wounds.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...
My divorcing him did lead to him accepting more of the help that he needed, if that's any comfort. His response to that is that "I don't have any choice now" -- kind of an odd thought.
Time does indeed help a great deal. The pain is incredible at first, and refreshes it self from time to time. But it does indeed get better. And remember -- you are NOT responsible for his feelings or actions.
Been there myself, kind of sort of still there. But I have also learned that you can't force someone to do, or feel something they are not ready to feel or see. It took my husband 8 months to see what I had been trying to make him see while he was asking for a seperation. All I wanted him to do was fight for us, and at that point in time he had given up and not even tried to fight. That hurt, the only way to describe it is saying that I felt like I was dieing on the inside and it was quickly decending to the outside. Even after the kids and I moved out, even after he finally saw what I wanted him to see, and said he wanted to work on us, I practically wrote him a road map on how to fix us, and he ignored it. His excuse was "I'm on depolyment and there isn't a lot I can do from the ship". Just a few months after he got off this deployment he is now sorry he didnt' do more. I wish I coud give you words of wisdom, but all I can say is that no one will understand, see, feel, or believe what you are trying to get across to them until they are ready. At times I have felt like a child having and temper tamper, screaming, crying, jumping up and down, and never heard. ((((HUGS))))