Im 19 years old and feel like iv allready had enough of relationships :( My most recent was with a 26 year old who i thought would be more mature... I was so wrong. I met him with a group of friends one night but he was allready in a relationship so we didnt speak for a considerable amount of months untill one night i went to a party with my friends (debatable sometimes if they are) and i was in the hallway of the house at which the party was held. I recieved a phone call from a random number and i answered it and found that he had found my number on facebook and called it. He explained that he had been trying to get my attention through the window of the house as he was next door having a fire and had seen me and got really exited about it. I joined him outside to find he was now single and i then met him again at costa cofee a few days later. He worked nights so he went to work and i had a few friends round but suddenly the doors was knocked. He had apeared randomly at my door and had skipped work for me. My heart lept and and i invited him in. It all started there really and the next day he skipped work again and we had sex, now in a relationship. I had to go on holiday a few days leter but we kept in contact all week and when i returned we could really start our relationship up properly. It came to be that i started working on the adency where he worked as i needed a job and he got me in. Biggest mistake ever and thats where it went downhill really. He showed his true colors as he didnt like the men in the warehouse (as it was mostly male dominated) showing me attention even though i did not lead them on in anyway (i had a go at him back about the few women there because i found it unfair that he could have a go at me for talking to men so yes i did wrong aswell). We had many arguments there but always seemed to get through it and come home together (as he stayed at mine full time by that point with my parents). The one night though he kicked off big time and i had to leave half-way through the shift and he followed me out apologising so i forgave him and he went back to work there wereas i didnt. A few weeks later however he left his job stating that he hated it there now and that he was fed up of working for nothing which he still blames on me somehow? He sold his motorbike as he would not pay for it and got me a car which was incredibly nice of him as he took out loans for it (which i didnt want him to) and he now blames his money problems on me also. I had to drive him around to his friends who he now saw 24/7, not giving us any alone time and if i wanted to see him it had to be with his friends which was really unfair. one of his friends in particular came back from abroad to live back in england again and got him into drugs which he had not touched since i met him. One night in town with this particular friend of his we had a massive falling out as he could not handle his drink and drugs and he took it out on me when i got annoyed at him for paying me no attention and not leaving this girl alone when we were meant to be going home. I relutantly left because i could see that he was just getting more and more wound up so i thought i would leave it untill the morning however, he had other ideas. He turned up at my door an hour later with his friend and i was allready in tears at this point. I shouted at him to leave me alone as he started calling me awefull things and i pushed him out of my face. He slapped me across the face sending me flying into my living room. i then ran out the door to get away from him and down an ally way. He came up to me laughing and i shouted woman beater at him. He got angry by this and slapped me once again across the face calling me cunt, bitch, etc... shouting that its over to me. I got up screaming help and ran home as his friend just stood there and did nothing. I woke my mom up and he kept calling me on my phone but i was ignoring it. He rang the doorbell and my mom went to answer it and he was giving her abuse telling her to give his bike back, key from my room and everything so she did. He then would not keep waking her up and she got really angry as he was demanding my car keys (that i still owed him the money for but it was my car in my name). She rand the police on him in the end and he assulted two police officers on my drive, awaking all the neighbours. The next day i studpidly still love him so he gets dropped off at mine and my mom and her partner talk to him and accept his appology (even though they shouldnt have). He continues to live at mine with me but another night changed everything once again in town with his drug addict of a friend. I am not happy because he has been drinking all day so i go home because i know how the nights going to end. I get a phone call from him saying that his two friends been in a fight and if i could take one to hospital. I agree and turn up at the pub and when i go to the toilet i ask my boyfriend to calm down on the drinking as i am very worried at this point because of what happened before. He comes right up into my face and kicks off at me, his eyes blank like theres nothing there. I get myself out of the pub and to my car but he follows and kicks off again outside of my car. I hand him the keys to avoid him using that against me but he comes right up into my face again saying its over and blaming everything on me again. I push him away from me and he calls the police saying i have assulted him to get back at me for calling them before (even though it wasnt me it was my mom and i didnt want her to). I get taken to a cell even though they can see its a waste of time but they have to anyway by law. Whilst i am in the car i hear that he has taken my car and drink drived it without a licence. The next day i meet him a the train station and he blames the night on me again which was really unfair. I have to take the blame though if i want to be with him all the time. We carry on still after whats happened but its not the same. He sees his friends more and more, and has he does so he becomes more cocky and wants me to change to please him. I have to give him anal, get on with his friends even though he was not interested in the slightest with mine, accept him breaking up with me every other day and getting back with me and so many more things that now made it a one-sided relationship. Recently he broke up with me for a week because apparently i wasnt good enough again and it was for good this time, even though i rang him up when he told me to (otherwide id be pestering him aparently) and begged to be with him because i loved him. I did something i regret that week though and i sucked somebody off i didnt even like mainly because i was in such a state and wasnt thinking straight, feeling quite pressured to. It was totally out of charector for me as i have only been with 3 people and i would never normally do anything like that. Anyway, my boyfriend then decides to accept my pleading one night and have sex with me, giving me the impression that everything is going to be ok. I then go to a party with him one night and whilst he is on mkat and drunk i stupidly confess to him about what i did when i thought it was over for good like he said it was. He flips at me and starts calling me a whore, slag and that he feels discuting having kissed me. I leave the party which is in the middle of a woods and have to walk back all by myself which scared the shit out of me. He rings me up when i have got home off some girls phone and asks me if i am home and i ask why and he says because hes still got a slight bit of worry left for me still stating that its over for good. He puts the phone down and later once i am asleep i am awoken to a phone call from him asking me to pick him up and take him home which is the least i can do. I agree and take him home where he resumes making me feel like shit for doing something i did when i wasnt with him and regret, even though i had to beg for days to be back with him again. I go home and cry myself to sleep and rung him up this afternoon and he continues to make me feel like shit about myself and eventually asks me to take my key to him. When i get there he throws his ring inside the car and says that im dead to him and hes going to go out and fuck loads of pussy because he doesnt give a fuck anymore (which is not like him as hes only been with 3 people like i have). I tell him im so sorry even though we wernt together he still made out i cheated on him and that im a whore even though im really not. I ring him up later on and he says all he wants is his money from me which he is still using against me and that was the last conversation we have had today. Wtf do i do when i feel awefull for what iv done but he left me so many times and how was i to know it wasnt for good that time when he kept saying it was? I was truthfull with him and now im paying for it. I still love him and want him somehow even after everything hes done. Im not saying im an angel and havnt done things wrong but he had completly fucked my head up and i was going to admit myself to hospital today as i cant cope. Please help somebody. sorry it was so long.
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