
Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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I am being told by people like my in-laws, friends, and even my estranged husband, that I need to "get a grip". After ten years of marriage, a cottage, a boat, a paid house, 3 kids, a dog, two cars, and a multitude of great memories, I'm told, "I've been drinking to escape my marriage. The dui's are a result of my problems. And our relationship makes sense on paper. But I don't think I was ever in love you. I was pressured to marry you because you got pregnant. We had only been together a year and a half, and well. That's what it is." Then he proceeds to tell me that he wants the kids 50% of the time and I am just going to have to accept this. According to him, he needs this divorce to start a new life. He wants the kids 50% of time. He doesn't care about his legal issues (he could go to jail if he loses both cases). He doesn't care if he loses his job, he is the bigger breadwinner. He wants to buy another piece of real estate within a bike ride of our family home. And yes I've been crazy over this. Crying all the time, not sleeping, in shock...we just went to Vegas a few months ago to celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary for Christ's Sake! I've tried taking my own life twice. I have failed at that as well. I think subconsciously I didn't want to do it. I just wanted the pain to go away. He has said so many things to me, and done so many things that contradict everything that he is doing now.
My question is, how do I close the book on him, while he is still living in the house? He won't leave until he is ready to go. I think he is stalling. I don't want to hurt my kids. They've been hurt enough. I know he is not right in the head. He's been a heavy drinker long before we even knew eachother. And he boils all his mistakes down to us. Yet, I am the only thing in his life that he has kept. He has fired his friends, and lied to his employer about his secret legal problems. How am I going to get through all of this while he is still living here?
My question is, how do I close the book on him, while he is still living in the house? He won't leave until he is ready to go. I think he is stalling. I don't want to hurt my kids. They've been hurt enough. I know he is not right in the head. He's been a heavy drinker long before we even knew eachother. And he boils all his mistakes down to us. Yet, I am the only thing in his life that he has kept. He has fired his friends, and lied to his employer about his secret legal problems. How am I going to get through all of this while he is still living here?
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See your MD for anti-depressents if you need to. You have 3 kids that you need to be strong for.
Next, if he is a heavy drinker, and is this disrespectful he is NOT worth being married to. Look into finding an attorney.
While he is still living there you can't really close the book. Even when he's not living there, it will take a lot of time and healing to get past this.
You have to know that you can get through this. You are your own person and you can take care of yourself, take care of your children and do just fine without him.
PLEASE! Find a therapist, go to Al-Anon meetings for family members for alcoholics, see your doctor for anti-depressants and find an attorney who can tell you what your rights are.
Allow yourself to cry and grieve, but do not give him the power to take away all of your personal strength. He isn't worth giving it to.
If he is treating you like this. You don't need it. Sounds like another way for him to punish you for his problems. As far as him tellling you he married you only b/c you got pregnant, he should have kept his ****** in his pants. Wasn't he was an adult then? He should have known the consequences.
First thing to do is find someone to talk to...counseling.
Second find a lawyer and get advice from him/her.
Third call his bluff. He wants out, give him one. If you want him out, ask your lawyer for options. Law enforcement comes in handy when you want someone removed from a residence. I get that call all the time.(I'm a 911 operator)
If his drinking is causing that much trouble it could be in your favor, especially in the custody issue.
But first and formost find a counslor. They can help you decide if you want to let him stay there or not, and to help you understand depression and emotional abuse you are experienceing.
Do not let him bring you back to the brink of ending everything. His drinking problem is affecting your children as well as you. If you go through with suicide, there will be no one to protect and look out for the kids. Thats the scary part. My dad was an acholic...Not fun for us kids.
Good luck in your search for info. There are a lot of great people here. And many, many friends to get to know.