Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I spoke with stbx's counselor just now, he confirmed that getting the TRO was the BEST move possible. He was saying that if stbx is going to really really work on his anger with the counselor, counselor would see this within next 30 days, otherwise......stbx is just talking to look good......
and, interestingly enough counselor said, view stbx's rages as if it were a seizure because he can not control it.
OK, but we are TALKING about rage here, not falling on the ground and biting your tongue off.
then he said (the counselor) think about what you do to set him off - WTF! - I just have to be in the same ROOM! men always think we do SOMETHING to deserve this???? Why is stbx's rage my fault? STBX must take full responsiblity not find someone else to blame.... I really wonder if a female counselor would have said something like this? or is this another "blame game" deal? STBX is 45 yrs old, not some little kid learning how to cope with anger for the first time.
feed-back is greatly appreciated, thanks!
P.S. sorry to the DS men, I know you guys get it and are a great support to us DS ladies! :)
and, interestingly enough counselor said, view stbx's rages as if it were a seizure because he can not control it.
OK, but we are TALKING about rage here, not falling on the ground and biting your tongue off.
then he said (the counselor) think about what you do to set him off - WTF! - I just have to be in the same ROOM! men always think we do SOMETHING to deserve this???? Why is stbx's rage my fault? STBX must take full responsiblity not find someone else to blame.... I really wonder if a female counselor would have said something like this? or is this another "blame game" deal? STBX is 45 yrs old, not some little kid learning how to cope with anger for the first time.
feed-back is greatly appreciated, thanks!
P.S. sorry to the DS men, I know you guys get it and are a great support to us DS ladies! :)
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A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
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Today is my 25th birthday, to my somewhat lack of surprise I can see already no one really seems to care. I've always been the kinda person to make sure that everyone I Care about feels appreciated and knew somebody had their back. I can count 4 times this year when I Went out of my way to make sure a "friend" felt good on their birthday, especially if they got left hanging. Its early in the...
That said, I think the counselor worded it badly. Think of his anger issue more like depression (and frequently men with anger issues have depression). Someone who suffers from depression doesn't always have a reason for slipping into their depression, and they can't always control it.
I am NOT making any excuses for his behavior, especially since I was abused. But if you think of it this way, as being an illness he can't control, you know not to expect him to control it and you can be more focused on keeping yourself safe.
got it!
She had prescribed medication to with she refused to take because it made her feel tired. Depression can take various forms of retaliation. Some go off in a fit of anger as others may cower down and try to fade into the walls.
Many times I've wondered if my depression during my marriage wasn't brought on by my wifes outbursts of anger thereby creating the need for me to simply shut down.
my Mom has been drinkly for over 65 years.
when we were little girls, she would scream at us...
"you better get in here or I'm going to cut off your arm and beat you with the bloodly stump!"
now, she would end up in serious trouble, but then no one cared about it.
When I spoke up a few years ago at a family thing, she denied she had ever said it, but kids remember those comments. Please help your girls by getting them help to cope to. You sound like a great Dad. Hang in there.
Now that I am out of the marriage and with someone who is loving and understanding, I'm finding that I am doing much better. I did have one PTSD episode in the middle of the night, new bf stayed on the phone with me until 2am and I was able to go to sleep.
see, I'm with you...you don't blame someone for a medical condition. Beside, he does not RAGE at work. ONLY around me.