Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I'm not even sure what STBX means by this anymore. Whenever he wants to be involved in something with our sons, it's a "parenting issue," which means we should make decisions together. But if he doesn't care, I'm on my own. If I suggest something might need both of our attention, he might begrudgingly agree, but then never do anything he says he'll do.
But if I just handle things, and it turns out that he did want to be involved, then I'm cutting him out of his sons' lives and guilty of parental alienation.
But, I guess it's been like this for years, even when he was living here, I was still pretty much a single parent, except when he something caught his attention. So why should I expect anything different now?
But if I just handle things, and it turns out that he did want to be involved, then I'm cutting him out of his sons' lives and guilty of parental alienation.
But, I guess it's been like this for years, even when he was living here, I was still pretty much a single parent, except when he something caught his attention. So why should I expect anything different now?
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
I have always had the joy of being the rule maker, disciplinarian, taxi driver, counsellor, laundry doer and teacher visiting parent.... But if there's a good time to be had...there HE is.
That's why my son is basically living with him, no rules, no chores, no nothing...it's like living at Disneyland!!!
My daughter lives with me full time, he has decided to be a parent, and keeps after her to see her, visit, take her for dinner, but she is very hesitant.
He can't figure it out. Hey stupid, ya HURT her, she doesn't TRUST you.
Mine likes to flex his "muscle" only about parenting decisions that cost him money. Like braces. Luckily..I have custody of the kids and his muscles are very weak.
I stopped trying to include him in the day-to-day stuff that goes on. It's impossible.
First hubby didn't give a hoot when it came to school stuff anf told me he trusted me since i am a teacher. Then turns around and complains if I don't keep him informed. I finally gave him the e-mail addresses and home phone numbers of the teachers and said it is HIS responsibility to check up on his sons if he wants to know something.
Only if there is something in it for him does he particpate. You organize it.. You pay for it even.. and he is there if someone sees him being the loving, caring and supportive father.
He uses our kids as props.
My eldest mentioned last week that Dad only takes us places to show us off (referring to political events)
I call him now and tell him to show up at a concert, sports event, school related activity and he does. Funny thing is he likes to show up to school events that our kids are not at....too funny.. he is there to socialize, network and mingle.
ohhh.. I tell him that I need help to pay for the kids stuff. He is suppose to pay up @90% based on his salary, but in reality he forks up less than 5%. Me, my parents pay for all the clothes, boots, shoes, activities, tutoring.
Wish you luck with this.. be strong.
My only solution is to think of myself as a single parent. I always was anyway. And his shpwing up is positive for the kids. It could be worse and he could not show up at all, as opposed to showing up for the wrong reasons. And inform him by email of everything, nothing verbally, so he cannot claim afterwards that he did not know. Then I do what I want to. If he doesn't say or do anything, I can do what I want. If he complains, he can take them to a different dentist but it has to be done by X date because otherwise his teeth will be too crooked to fix. I find that if it involves some effort on his part, he will give it up.
Good luck and try to stop counting on him for anything at all.