Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
"Let Them Go" by T.D. Jakes
i can not take credit for posting this originally. i don't remember who did, but to whomever they are...thank you. i usually don't post threads except for inspirational things or funny things. i generally just add my 2 cents in to everyone else's. but today i find myself needing....a little something extra. and i thank you all for allowing me to share, for allowing me to grieve publicly, for supporting not only me, but each other.
tonight i will tell him goodbye. he said he wanted to work this out, he said he was willing to do the hard work that would need to be done, he said he still loved me. i thought he was telling the truth. i was wrong. so..it is what it is. what is done can not be undone. and i must...
LET THEM GO....
"There are people who can walk away from you. And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you, let them walk. I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean, Hang Up the Phone!.
When people can walk away from you, let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody who left. The Bible says "They came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us." (1 John 2:19)
People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay.
LET THEM GO
It doesn't mean that they are a bad person; it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when peoples' part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead. You've got to know when it's dead.
You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you something - I've got the gift of good-bye. Its the tenth spiritual gift. I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it.
Stop beggin people to stay.
LET THEM GO....
tonight i will tell him goodbye. he said he wanted to work this out, he said he was willing to do the hard work that would need to be done, he said he still loved me. i thought he was telling the truth. i was wrong. so..it is what it is. what is done can not be undone. and i must...
LET THEM GO....
"There are people who can walk away from you. And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you, let them walk. I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean, Hang Up the Phone!.
When people can walk away from you, let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody who left. The Bible says "They came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us." (1 John 2:19)
People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay.
LET THEM GO
It doesn't mean that they are a bad person; it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when peoples' part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead. You've got to know when it's dead.
You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you something - I've got the gift of good-bye. Its the tenth spiritual gift. I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it.
Stop beggin people to stay.
LET THEM GO....
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Replies
Thank you, I wish I could do this easier. I really believe it is true, but dang it is hard.
I recall seeing that. It helps to see this again!! We must let them go...
i don't know that i've ever tried to do anything harder.
but it must be done. for my sanity.
very true but very hard to do. with the help of all you here i will find the strength. she wanted to walk away now i need to make sure that road is clear of me. Thanks pitbull!!
She can "GO" to hell 4 all I care, just leave my kids and my home behind and I'll be happy.
:)
True. If someone can walk away, who wants them?
If i remember right that verse about letting them go is not about divorce but I guess you can interpret it that way!
I keep pointing out to my husband that he keeps walking away, and I keep trying to get him to stay...what you wrote here makes so much sence...I really never thought of it in this light. -When people walk away from you, let them walk- BIG WOW momment for me. Thank you bitbullmom, I'm going to print this out to remind me of this perpesctive.
(please excuse all my misspelled words, the one thing I really suck at- SPELLING- where is spell check when ya need it!)
You know its funny, TD Jakes invited my STBX to a special show on the Dr. Phil show. She considered going though she was strongly against counseling before. She then changed her mind because with her being a school teacher (and a supposed devout church going woman) she would be to embarrassed of her infidelity coming out.
This advice seems so simple but still so complicated to execute. I am at a point of just imagining what would I do, if she comes back. Do I let her. I mean the part about "there part in your story is over" how would u know that? I mean there are plenty of stories I know of where a spouse comes back, and then it works.
tibia...i wish i could answer your question.."how do you know"...i do know that there are people who separate and then are able to mend the issues, make changes, make it work.
for me personally, i feel i have tried every avenue available. i feel i have given this everything inside me that i have to give. i feel that if i try to give anymore...there will be nothing left to give. nothing of me left inside.
i can no longer hold on to something that is, at this point, beyond repair. how many times can i continue to look at him, hear his words, but yet...there is no action behind those words. words are meaningless unless there is some action behind them.
he left me for someone else. he felt our relationship was over. now that he has been able to see that the person he left me for is not a good person, he sees his mistakes, yes. he sees what others tried to tell him, yes. and tho he tells me he's sorry, he tells me he wants to change, there is no action behind those words.
that's how i know that "his part in my story is over"...he was not joined to me in the way i needed him to be.
that's how i know it's over. and in order for me to ever love again, to trust again, i must let him go...from within myself.
I think I've mastered that one. And so Alone I go.
thank you. i needed this.
And once you let go, you MUST forgive. Work most on forgiving yourself.
It's all a step in the right direction-healing YOU. Good luck and God Bless you Pit.
Thank you PIT
I think, on the real!
That I am just being sexist. As strange as this is, I have a hard time believing a woman could do or say what she is. I have this notion the classy educated lady I married will come back, and at least just give it a try.
Love is for giving
Love is forgiving
:)