Okay, so my divorce is approaching within a few weeks. I don't know for sure when because my lawyer and his lawyer are meeting tomorrow for some sort of meeting with a judge. My stbx has sent me two proposals of what he think we should do about some things. I can pick one or two. Hmmmmm....I guess he thinks he is still in control?????? I'm still the doormat and I can choose what I want to do but I don't want either one. I won't bog you down with the yucky details. Anyway, I got the proposals on Monday and he emails me on Wednesday wanting to know what I want to do or if I have any questions. STUPID, STUPID, ME! I can't stand that he hasn't completely stuck the knife all the way through my heart. I decide to offer him one last chance to come home. I tell him we can still work on our marriage if he will go with me to marriage counseling and also go see a doctor for some other problems he has been going through for about 5 years. I told him that we all missed him Thanksgiving and would love to have him back with us for Christmas. I wrote my heart out. So.....he writes back and tells me he hates reading long emails and that it was the same old stuff and it was "beating that dead horse". Hmmmm....I guess that is what our marriage is to him. A dead horse! Okay, a lot of you ask when will you get over "him". I got over him after reading that email. It hurt like heck and I cried of course. But, after a little while I got madder than I have since he left. Now, I know it is really over and I am moving on as soon as the divorce is final. I was giving him the benefit of the doubt for so many months. I have known him since I was 16 years old and I am 57 now. I thought I knew him better than anyone. Well...I don't want to know this person. I don't like this person. I don't want to be around this person. He is now dead to me. I will probably continue to grieve for my kids and grandkids. I wanted them to have so much in the way of family and home. That is not to be so now it is finally over. I hope all of you that are hurting will come to this point soon. It has taken me almost a year and a half.
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