The Thanksgiving Day Card was very cute, I'm sure you'll treasure it forever. In my case I deserved custody. My x is a lying, cheating drug user that has my children around an excon drug using girlfriend..that's why.

Why do women get sole custody 92% of the time?
...Double standards. All things being equal the woman always gets the kids. A man doesnt have to be abusive or anything. They figure that a man has to work, and women have nothing better to do than raise kids. At least that was their thinking when they made the laws.
What gets me is something that no one mentions. It is one of many things.
How come a woman gets compensated during a divorce for homemaking skills, and then gets compensated in the form of alimony for a while because she has no skills? And the flip side of this is...how come a man isnt compensated to hire someone to do the domestic skills that the courts assume they didnt know how to do, and only the wife could do?

Double Standards. The courts are predjudice against men, period.

Isn't it great! My son had to write about his Thanksgiving hero and it was me. He said I was strong, independent, and always kept my promises. And just like my soul sista solonbye I deserved custody. Because my ex is a cruel heartless drug addict who would rather be with other drug addicts then his family.

I really believe it's dependent on what state you live in. Some states are taking a more progressive view and prefer 50/50 custody over everything else. Other states still favor the mother because the way the traditional family used to run, the mother stayed home with the children and the father worked. 50 yrs ago (when divorce was a lot more rare) it made sense. And like everything else, change in the legal system takes time.

I applaud full-time fathers or those who juggle their full-time jobs with their full-time parenting responsibilities. I think the children should be placed with whomever the fitter parent is, regardless of gender. I also think that circumstances of the divorce should play a part in that... when my husband cheated on me and chose to continue seeing the other woman, he didn't just break up our marriage, he destroyed our family. And that is perhaps the most irresponsible parenting flaw of all.

My parents divorced when I was 7 and we were raised by my father. My mother choose to leave the marriage figuring after she got settled we would come live with her. My father told her she could take the house, the car, all the money anything she wanted but she would not take my brother and myself. My mom relieved my dad was right they never even went to court about it. Which in the end helped them have a very good relationship and I thank them for that. As a child me parents NEVER talked bad about each other in front of us. My father is the MOST AMAZING man I will EVER know.

I'm not sure what state you live in Zoot but in Washington that is not the case. I will find out the stats for you. I have worked in the court system here for about 14 years. I have seen our judges progress to the point that each case is decided depending on what is in the best interest of the children. A guardian ad Litem is brought in to help make the determination of what is in the best interest of the child. We have far more joint custodies than the generalization made by the person posting this. I have seen so many Dads who get the kids based on who they have been in the life of the children. It has become more common for there to be "stay at home" dads that have spent more of the time with the kids. Our courts here take that very seriously as they do the behavior of each parent not their gender.
Hope that gives you hope.

I have always be under the belief that unless the mother is considered "unfit" she always will be awarded custody unless the decision is made between the two parents as to the father is to have them.

It isnt cus the mother doesnt have anything to do, it is cus they feel a child should be with the mother more for biological reasons I dont have in front of me.

btw, that should at least make you feel good about the card and the child's feelings. I would just revel in that and show your children as much as you can from where you are.

Partner, I hear your pain. As a single dad for a few years cherish these moments. Make the best of all your time together. Remember, you don't have to spend lots of money on gifts or entertainment... often all the kids want is just to be close to you. To watch a movie together or take a walk. You are a good man and don't slide into that phase where you feel you are in competition with their mother for the children's love. Keep smiling.