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My STBX moved out with the kids last weekend. Since then, she's come back a couple of times to pick up some things. I have absolutely no problem with that at all.
My question is, when (and how) do I let her know that, while she is welcome to come by and pick up whatever she needs, she needs to call and let me know she's coming over. After all, she doesn't live there anymore and she can't just show up unannounced. I got out of the shower Tuesday morning to the sound of voices in my living room - she and her father were there.
When is it appropriate (if ever) to ask for the keys and the garage door remote? Her name is on the deed, but it's not her home anymore.
I hope this doesn't come off sounding cold. She is welcome to come pick up whatever she or the kids need, but I just want a phone call first...I don't necessarily need to be home at the time, but I want to know. I don't want to tell her in a way that will cause any more tension than there already is.
My question is, when (and how) do I let her know that, while she is welcome to come by and pick up whatever she needs, she needs to call and let me know she's coming over. After all, she doesn't live there anymore and she can't just show up unannounced. I got out of the shower Tuesday morning to the sound of voices in my living room - she and her father were there.
When is it appropriate (if ever) to ask for the keys and the garage door remote? Her name is on the deed, but it's not her home anymore.
I hope this doesn't come off sounding cold. She is welcome to come pick up whatever she or the kids need, but I just want a phone call first...I don't necessarily need to be home at the time, but I want to know. I don't want to tell her in a way that will cause any more tension than there already is.
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Just explain to her that you would really appreciate knowing when she is going to come by, so that you can make sure that everything in in order? I dunno,, however, she should have thought of this on her own! I'm actually baffled!
Just tell her that you want to know ahead of time when she's coming over. As a courtesy.
Don't change the locks unless you feel that you truly can't trust her.
My stbx did that and it made things even more tense.
When he tried to reach out after that, I didn't believe his sincerity partially because he'd shown me that he didn't trust me or care for me.
In my opinion, it's a matter of simple respect you should give anyone.
It was her decision, so make her deal with it. If she refuses, then tell her you will be changing the locks, and starting the paperwork to get her name of the deed.
She can't have it both ways!!!
You have a right to not only respect of your time but a say so in how things are divided. Lack of respect of my boundries was part of my stbx's vices.
change the frequency on garage door
but if she's on deed, she has legal right to access at all times
if you have assumed all mortgage bills, bank must be notified so equity from this point forth is strictly yours, not to be divided equally later!