
Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

deleted_user
Ok we have all seen it over and over again.
Why is it that good guys finish last?
I have alot of ideas...I have been the tough and tumble guy, as well as the good guy...
Is there a difference between a push over and a good guy?
Have fun with this one...Maybe this could put some light on it for us guys here at DS.
So before you answer to quickly, think hard and answer with total honesty.
Why is it that good guys finish last?
I have alot of ideas...I have been the tough and tumble guy, as well as the good guy...
Is there a difference between a push over and a good guy?
Have fun with this one...Maybe this could put some light on it for us guys here at DS.
So before you answer to quickly, think hard and answer with total honesty.
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I go for the ones I think are nice and sensitive. The trouble is I am very trusting and want to see the good in people so sometimes I ignore those little red flags which should warn me off. My husband seemed the perfect gent when I met him. 19 years old and still a virgin, wrote lots of love poems to me, bought me anything he could with his limited means but very quickly he became abusive both verbally and occasionally physically, had very little time for me, started spending all our money, refusing to go anywhere with me except to visit his family, and has had two affairs resulting in him actually leaving me on both occasions. Boy did I not see that coming!!
Our society also has a tendency to reward notorious behavior rather than uplift valorous ones. We know what kind of underwear Spears wear but we don't know the names of those who achieve results in the labs somewhere in the world and those might save our lives one day! I guess stepping over everyone else is more exciting to some than a man who attempts to do the right thing in most situation. Good guys (and gals!) live by higher standards and are stronger people because of that and for that. It's much easier to succomb to depravation, sin in general, than follow moral tenets. But at the end of the day, at the end of life, one can look back and be satisfied with the results.
Good moral behavior and humility are often mistaken for weakness. That's probably why some of us have been discarted like an old pair of shoes. I have. It's like we can't cut it in this world. But I don't think I would have been able to withstand the storm (my divorce) if I had not been strong and my values had not been steady. I don't think my stbx would have been as successful as he was, if I had not been in the background doing all the menial, but necessary, work. Being who I am makes me less exciting than someone who sleeps around and appear ruthless, but at least my family and friends can count on me.
I personally would never settle for a bad boy, even go out with one. Such an outting would probably end up badly anyway. The package has to include intelligence and kindness... I've seen too much junk during my life to even consider it.
Bad boys are okay but they don't tend to last. I am not looking for a bad boy, not at all. I am ready for a refreshing change. OMG! I think I might be ready to date again... well after my divorce. So "good guys" look out! lol
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we as women may not be attracted to you, so men fall into two categories
a) ones I might date and have a relationships with and
b) friends
so as a guy if you are attracted to a woman, she may not want to hurt your feelings but trust us.. within one hour she knows which category you belong in.... so come right out and ask her... dont get used... if you know the score then either move on to someone who wants you sexually, emotionally and for a relationship but dont whine about "good guys finish last" that is NOT what it is all about..... it is just that some woman dont see you in that light.....trust me on that one
The key to building attraction seems to be to fake an extroverted, lighthearted and cocky attitude upon first impression - and save your true personality for when she's already crushing on you.
I know this because I've practiced it and seen it work. I quit because it depressed me that I had to put on a show for women to find me attractive. I just don't need that blow to my self-esteem during this fragile time of recovery.
I think the more respect for her self and inner strength a woman has the less she needs to chose a man who "appears" to be tough enough to "protect" her from the world. She knows she needs no protection, so is able to chose a mate for his finer qualities.