I was out and about, running my errands (patting myself on the back) and kept getting tearful. If anyone said anything remotely nice to me, e.g. can I get you anything else?, I was ready to burst into tears. I started thinking that I miss his companionship. Truth is, I didn't really even like him the last couple of years, so he wasn't much of a companion. But we did certain things together routinely, did enjoy vacations together, but it really was just another human being who was (at that time) tolerable to me and I thought that was a "companion". Am I really any more alone than I was before? I don't think so. I certainly settled for the basic minimum when I thought I had companionship. So I think I have been alone for a long time, but it feels much more real now.
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