
Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

deleted_user
My stbx has been addicted to pornography since we first got married. And i mean that it's been a serious addiction. It got to the point that his fantasies fulfilled him, and I did not. Lots of money was spent and time wasted, too. I know all men view it, and it's considered to be "no big deal," but for me this is a major issue. A lot of my problems w/ my self image and self esteem have come from his porn habit. Am I making too big a deal of this?
Posts You May Be Interested In
-
A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
-
Today is my 25th birthday, to my somewhat lack of surprise I can see already no one really seems to care. I've always been the kinda person to make sure that everyone I Care about feels appreciated and knew somebody had their back. I can count 4 times this year when I Went out of my way to make sure a "friend" felt good on their birthday, especially if they got left hanging. Its early in the...
I remember walking into his office in a little pink outfit and sitting on his lap. He completely ignored me. I got something like.. nice bikini. And that was it. He looked over my shoulder at his computer screen. I cried.
And later he'd go surf porn and the internet porn would get some and I would not. I felt cheated on.
I know a lot of men use porn and certainly the internet has made it unbelievably available to anyone. I think it is like any potentially addictive behavior. No big deal if someone drinks a little bit. Big, big deal when someone has a drinking problem. Same for gambling, workaholics, shopping addictions, etc. A person who has been in a relationship with someone with an addiction would be a fool not to view it as a potential problem in subsequent relationships.
There are many men out there who don't have a problem with sustaining from porn.
Don't feel like you won't be able to find someone who will honor your feelings. You will, just be upfront about it.
As for harming your self esteem. Well, my STBX has said some things to me over the years that most people would think were no big deal. But they were a big deal to me and rocked the foundation of my self-esteem. That is why I decided to end this marriage. I will no longer submit to his toxic behavior. I couldn't just shrug it off. I'm having to work hard on my emotional stuff right now, just to get back to 'normal'. People's words and actions can hurt you deeply. You are not making a big deal of this.
Believe it or not, not all men view porn. My stbx has never to my knowledge viewed it or even expressed an interest in viewing it. It's not too much to expect you're significant other not to endulge his fantasies if they come at your expense.
I think it's a shame that we seem to settle for situations and circumstances that end up hurting us because of another person's selfishness.
Don't let his porn problem affect your self-image (easier said than done I know). Even thought they'll denie it in front of other guys, most men don't want a relationship with a porn star. They want someone to love and cherisha and who loves and cherish's them. You're stbx has a problem, not you.
try and get counselling for your self image issues and deal with what you can contol and take care of yourself now... move forward and heal yourself.
Yes I know how you feel...my ex did the same thing...ergo..he is my EX!