I truly dont think that i will ever be able to let go of what i expected my life to be. How do i let go of all the memories? There is not one second of the day i dont think about him. There is almost nothing in life that doesn't remind me of him, something we did, something we wanted to do...How do i forget ever when i have to look at my children everyday and know that they deserved to grow up in a whole family and that isn't going to happen. How do i spend the rest of my life not knowing where he is or what he's doing? He will barely speak to me anymore. He says he just doesnt think it will ever work. He doens't think he wants me anymore. Im in agony and i dont see the intensity of these emotions ever fading. Im devastated. He's been my life for 15 years. Not very good some of them, but still better than these last 8 months. How do you let go when everything is your being is telling you it's not right to give up. I feel a huge hole in me every moment of the day. I don't think i can ever let this go. This was all i ever wanted and i could never get it. How can he want to give up. He was the one over the years who didn't care, didn't give the love...why am i so attached to this when it never fufilled me? He told me he could never treat me like i deserved. I dont care, i would still take what i did have back rather than live in this pain. I don't think i will EVER be able to let go. How do you?
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