
Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

deleted_user
I have been struggling with this issue since my husband decided to move out over 3 months ago. We have 2 children still at home, 10, and 17, and a daughter 19 that comes home from college pretty often on weekends. Also 4 other children that live away from home and come to visit regularly. Okay my dilema, he is the one that wants the divorce, I don't. But I struggle with how to act around him, how much I should let him be here when the children are visiting. He wants his own life, should I just shut him out and not let him come over when the kids are here??? I am not a mean, vindective person, but it does hurt me to be around him. Do I swallow my feelings and just smile through everything for the children?? I don't know the right way to handle this. He doesn't want to be married to me, but he does love his children. It is so confusing to me. I just am not sure what to do.
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Get a Pirate as your Life Coach.
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It is great that you are considering swallowing your feelings and trying to smile through it, but you need to sit down with him and set some boundaries as well.
Just my thoughts. I am certainly no expert.
I have to agree with sockpuppet here. I am somewhat in the same boat, but I'm trying to give my advice from an outsiders point of view. Let him see the kids. The kids may pick up on some things now and some things later, but something they will see if they dont' already is that you did what you had to do for them. They will appreciate what you all did - sucking up your feelings in order to let a man who you don't want to divorce see his kids and them see him. You dont' ever want to look back and your kids ask where Dad was this day or if he ever tried to see them and you said no. Then you will become the bad guy or they might resent you. I know the situation all out sucks, but just put your kids first, and it suddenly becomes simple. I'm praying for you both!
i hope that part of no longer being married is that he has the respect and courtesy to not expect to visit whenever it is convenient for him. i would set days and try as hard as possible to follow a schedule. your children will get more accustomed to things with a clear routine. you don't need to be involved in a weird family situation, such as all interacting with the children together in your home. he left.
we all know that you are not a mean person BTW : )