hello to whoever cares enough to read this. I have a huge problem and i was wondering if someone out there could help me. i currently live with my ex and our son at my parents house and we pay rent (the house used to be two apartments, well still sorta is). She broke up with me about 2 months ago, maybe a little longer but not by much. Well before we broke up we had been dating for about 3 years it would have been 4 on the 21st of october this year. For the longest time that we were dating she would ask if we were ever going to get married and i would always say that i never wanted to get married to anyone. We were in deep love. Well sad to say i started becoming this monster of a person who would always neglect her and my son for my friends, pot, and alcohol. I knew what i was doing was wrong but i couldnt stop. and towards the end of the relationship i finally decided that i did want to get married. but only to one person....her! There was a time before that where i started having false and misplaced feelings for any girl outside of the relationship that would give me attention. In the end only to find out that i only liked them as friends because i was in love with her. i rarely showed her that though. towards the end we never went out as a couple, we would always argue and i was never around. But i also began realizing that i wanted to marry her because i loved her so much. I started making plans to ask her to marry me and even bought a ring. But i refused to ask her with the way things were between us. So i decided to straighten myself out and grow up and become the man i should have been and the father i was supposed to be. well not 2 months after i bought the ring and thought all this out she broke up with me. Due to the things i put her through and because she believed that i never wanted to get married and that i always wanted to go out and have fun without her. i fought to keep the relationship going but i also saw it as a time to reshape myself and man up to the person i was supposed to be all those years. So i let it go, but only because she said that if i straightened myself out that in the future we could get back together. Well little did i know that was the worst mistake out of all of them. within two weeks of us breaking it off she started seeing another guy. But i believed that she loved me and that all i had to do was to finish fixing my problems and come back to her as this reborn man and she would take me back. well about a month and a half after they started dating i finally decided it was time. I told her i wanted to get back together, and she seemed upset for some reason. She said that she would have to take some time to think about it. So i gave her a week with no pressure. During that week i began doing things that i never did before, like getting up early, doing dishes and laundry, watching my son and cleaning up the house after him. Well after that week was up I asked her how she felt about the situation and she said that she didnt want anything with me at that point and that she wanted to see how the relationship with this other guy went....I was heart broken. BIG TIME. well the next day she was leaving for florida with my parents and our son for a week ( i couldnt go because i couldnt get off of work). My mom talked to her and told her to think about it while they were down in florida. So she agreed. Well that whole week i continued to do those things that i never did before like clean up around the house, dishes, laundry, and what have you. Not to just to win her back, but because thats what i should have been doing all along. I went out to walmart and got a picture frame (you know those ones that you can put multiple pictures in) and dug out pictures of me her and our son throughout the years. I also got on the computer and made up a slideshow of pictures of us throughout the years and added music to it. when she came back she still even after all the things that i made up for her, she still said that she didnt want a relationship with me at that time. and i told her to please just give me a second chance, and that we could even start over and take it slow. but she didnt want to. I dont understand how she could want to have something with this other guy, but nothing with the father of her child and someone who she claims that she used to love. Well i told her that i wasnt going to give up because i love her so much, and that i also didnt want to scare her away, or push her too much, or stalk her or any wierd thing like that. And i continued to do the same things that i was doing those two weeks till this week. well this weekend i offered something else that i never offered before, and that was to watch my son while she was at work. she agreed. I also said that i would take her to and pick her up from work. And i said that i would like to take her and todd out to the movies and possibly get something to eat. She agreed, but recently she came down with a virus. and she might not be able to go out to eat or see a movie. However, I have decided that this weekend i was going to talk to her about everything and get my feelings out there (every other time i tried to my feelings got the best of me). And i am also going to end the conversations by telling her that she may not believe that i have changed but to show her that i was telling the truth i was going to present her the ring i bought her and tell her that that's how i felt before we broke up and that it was how i still felt. I love this woman with all my heart and it kills me to see this guy picking her up from work and bringing her here, or hearing that they are out on a date. I would do anything for her and it took me this long to realize it and now it seems too late and hopeless. but i try to keep my chin up. does anyone out there have any input on this situation? if so please respond IMMEDIATELY i need some counceling or advice anything. IM tired of guessing what i should do i want to hear other peoples input. Thank you for taking the time to read this.
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