I call that being manipulative and trying to get to you in a worse way than ever.
Talk about emotional abuse!!
Hold your chin up - you don't deserve what he's dishing out.
I'll be thinking of you!

take a deep breath, if you don't want this relationship then just tell him so. if you want to give it another chance you can do that too. perhaps you should start dating each other and take it very slowly. don't slip back in your progress. your doing great. the power is yours, it's about what you want, and if your confused, step back and don't make any decisions.

Hang on, your still doing good. It's ok to have set backs. I think this gives you a chance to think. If you really don't want him back, then tell him. If you do, take it slow. You don't need to trust him to talk. But, regardless, do what's right for you. Hugs!

I am so sorry. My stbx has been hanging around more lately. And even said he loved me the other day. It just makes everything confussing. I think that they realize that things were not all that bad. They are lonely, and want comfort. I would go with your gut feeling. Stay strong, like you said can you trust him again. I know after the things mine said to me I just don't think I can.

I'm so sorry you're hurting this much. I can't offer any solid kind of advice, but everyone here is willing to help you find some kind of peace. It's a rollercoaster for all of us, and as you seem to have found out already, time will help you heal. It's normal to feel confused and hurt after a meeting, especially one that has surpassed your expectations. Set yourself a new goal, to spend time with yourself doing things you love and not focusing on what you want or wish for out of the relationship. We are all here for you.

Big Hugs...look at the past and plan for the future. That is All you can do.

The thing is, truthfully, I would LOVE to have the OLD him back.
From the things he says, I can feel that he's sorry. It doesn't change anything that has happend though, ya know?

I'm just so hurt, I can't think straight.

Personally I would keep him at a distance for now. Make sure he's not saying these things to come back just so he doesn't have to pay child support. Sorry for my bold speaking on this, I just don't want you to be set up and end up hurt far more then you are now. This happens all to often with women I've known. Be careful.

Oh I feel SO sorry for you. Darling we would all LOVE to have the OLD them back! But, if you really think about it did you ever really have the OLD him? You may have at one time but he betrayed that trust and may well be someone you no longer know.

If it helps you at all, you are not alone!

Gosh, Shock, that makes it really hard. Some guys are master manipulators: they can feel when you're moving on and want to reel you back in to keep their options open.

It's hard to imagine a guy who is a deadbeat dad having much hope, but have you tried counseling yet? You could go without moving back in together. If he is serious, he will pay for it and go. It will be harder for him to keep lying there if he is, and you could get a more objective look at him.

No prob. Tessies, that's one of the things I was thinking too.

Is it more than clear that if I can't trust him then there's no going back? Am I in denial to think any different?

Don't do this to yourself-i took my X back once and instead of being happy-I cried all night becasue i knew I made a decision I was going to pay for later.Stay strong.

Before I would ever consider taking him back I would suggest that HE get therapy and that you "date"--platonically. If you feel like you are seeing the OLD him, then maybe give couples counseling a go. Whatever made him messed up and leave you won't go away until he works on himself. And having relationships end painfully makes it necessary to re-enter them with care and guidance of a counselor. To me, these are the only things my stbx could do to get me to consider being with him again (and I too, just months ago would have given anything).

Breathe.

I wish you the best, SnA. I came to the realization that not being able to believe or trust someone was relationship poison.

(There's no going back)

I took my x back 17 years ago. It was for me a big mistake b/c I was I think too ashamed to be the 1st to divorce in my family and I was scared to be on my own. For me the damage that I allowed to happen to me has taken its toll.

I would keep walking twords the light and away from the pain. If he wants you, perhaps he will let you call the shots and get in to counciling or whatever else you feel would be appropriate