Ok I am having a bad day today, maybe because the "D" day is tuesday. I am now questioning myself if I did the right thing.. I know I still love my STBS but it appears he has moved on physically and emotinally. Although he has said he still loves me.. I just want to give up today. I didn't even get dressed today.. I am so upset by all of this. I sure hope when it's over that I can move forward.. I wasn't the one that wanted this although it is the right thing. He is NO good for me. I have been down this road with him before only to cave in and go back. I can't do it anymore... I said to him "I love you to death, but it shouldn't be the death of me" I walk around the house and look at everything he has done which is so much and it makes me think I shouldn't have filed maybe he would come back again, but that isn't fair to me either. I can't be his fall back plan if things don't go the way he wants them too... But I am still really really sad today..and then not that I don't feel shitty enough my frikken tooth broke now I kinda have a tooth ache... What the hell else could happen... I just give up... Life sucks today
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