Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I am getting phone calls from stbx on an almost daily basis...normally several times a day. Some are purely business-returning calls from me that are in response to something that I needed to find.
Others are sad, in a way, and I am learning to deal with them without tears. I still do not understand them, and am not sure that I need to.
The phone call to let me know that a favorite store clerk found a new job. I knew this, but still appreciated stbx caring about this man. Last night stbx called me from Costco, he saw my camera there.
This man didn't want me. I wasn't welcome in His World. For 22 years I lived under an ultimatum-Take It Or Leave. He never wanted to understand me, or share a single interest with me...he said that it "wasn't important to him".
I was crying when he called. Then I cried after the phone call ended. The last few, I haven't cried.
In the back of my mind I am wondering about manipulation and worrying if this is a prelude to no December alimony. I hope not. I would so much rather live with the bittersweet phone calls. The voice that was Never used for Me.
Twenty-two years. They went by so fast. So much was done, and said. Now it is phone calls about odd things...and I just want a Life.
Others are sad, in a way, and I am learning to deal with them without tears. I still do not understand them, and am not sure that I need to.
The phone call to let me know that a favorite store clerk found a new job. I knew this, but still appreciated stbx caring about this man. Last night stbx called me from Costco, he saw my camera there.
This man didn't want me. I wasn't welcome in His World. For 22 years I lived under an ultimatum-Take It Or Leave. He never wanted to understand me, or share a single interest with me...he said that it "wasn't important to him".
I was crying when he called. Then I cried after the phone call ended. The last few, I haven't cried.
In the back of my mind I am wondering about manipulation and worrying if this is a prelude to no December alimony. I hope not. I would so much rather live with the bittersweet phone calls. The voice that was Never used for Me.
Twenty-two years. They went by so fast. So much was done, and said. Now it is phone calls about odd things...and I just want a Life.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
He is jsut trying to hang on to the last years that he remembers. Men are creatures of habbit. Plus with the holidays approching, he to is lost for what this new thing brings to him and he just is hanging on to what he knows. Trust me I am not defending him, just hoping to show you about this and help you make sence of of all of it.
Just remain strong and cry if you must, it will help clean your soul.
Hope this makes sence.
My stbx has been calling me a lot lately, and I've finally stopped answering the phone, and calling him back when/if I feel like I can handle talking to him. I'm working toward the point where I don't even call him back at all.
I think it's guilt, at least with my stbx. He keeps asking if I'm okay, if I need anything, etc. I also think that he feels that if we can remain "friends" after all this, then he must not be that bad a person, and what he did to me must not have been that bad.
I wish him all the best, but I have no interest in going backwards.
I want to be Happy in a relationship and I will never settle for less, again. If a Man can't make me smile as easily as my Dogs can, something is WRONG!!!
Speaking of which, my Moe is currently sitting here with his head on my shoulder as I am typing. STBX never got that close, EVER!!!
I wish this Dog were a Man.
I'm so sorry he is hurting you. Some day soon you will gain the power to take this power away from him too. This will be a great day for you.
(((((Hugs)))))
Hugs to you.
Tami, I made, what I now believe was a mistake, by trying to "be friends" with my ex. He would call all the time and used to do favors for me too. The favors stopped awhile ago, but the calls kept coming. And then he'd start to waffle back and forth with me again, talking about getting back together.
I've had enough. I've realized that even though I'm a big enough person to move on and try to have a different kind of relationship with him, I guess he is not. This is so ironic to me, since his "moving on" with other women instigated our divorce in the first place. I've stopped answering his calls and texts this past week and will keep it up until they stop. It truly is time to move forward and let the past stay in the past.