
Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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I have sole custody of our dog (no kids - so the dog is pretty much our kid, and we always treated her like ours). So far I haven't really been sharing her with my STBX. He babysat her maybe twice since we seperated. I've been trying to keep my distance from him and part of that is not sharing our dog with him. He left so why should I. I know he misses her and would like to see her. But I really don't want to put myself through the pain of seeing him just to be the bigger person and share our dog. Why should I? My friend says it's my way of hurting him and being vengeful. Is it? Maybe, but screw him he's the one that left right? She says it's not as black and white as that and it's not really taking anything away from me to share the dog but why does it feel like it? Why does on top of it all, why does it feel like he's taking away more? And the worst feeling of all is that I feel I'm putting myself in this moral quandry when he may not care all that much after all, much less realize how painful it is for me to do so.
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Let him visit..if he wants...but dog needs to feel loved and in a stable environment. I only had recently noticed that our dog was depressed... like depressed for the 3 years of the whole divorce thing... just like me and the kids were.
He was just getting back to his happy, less stressed self. Strange how he was so observant and sensitive of the changes in the household dynamics.
You have to do what is right for you and your furbaby.
Now go out and have some fun.
But our (my) dog has been stressed/depressed lately. She's even developed some behavior problems - growling, accidents etc. And I don't know if seeing him would hurt or help any of us.
My stbx requested "visitation" when he is on my side of the country. I was shocked-but that was at the beginning of this...I doubt that he would dream of it now.
I don't plan on him having my address.
I do struggle over the Dogs. But, not much. He enjoyed them, he loved them, but he doesn't have the time-due to his travel schedule. And we could not break the pair up, they are "lifers". The Male was His Dog. The Female was Mine.
Good Luck in whatever you decide.
I don't think you should give up your stance, maybe just let your stbx know that you're not ready to see him and see if you can work things out amicably when some healing has been done?