i think the quote is f*&ing wrong..nope stbx doesnt need help *LOL* he needs karma to bite his ass..may need help writing my checks

I gotta say, you suffer because you choose to. People do not have that power over you, unless you give it to them.

I have suffered greatly, but only because I chose it. I don't choose that anymore.

I agree with msde he needs to feel it hope mine does one day

My stbx suffers from Narcissistic Fucktard Syndrom. I hear it isn't curable, think it's contagious too because the OW has it too! Phew...Thank god I got out before I caught it! :)

I thought it only affected people who were ta...

Can't do it!!!!

I feel there is some truth to that. But we need to realize that it isn't our job to "fix" them. We can pray for them and forgive them, but we can't force them to change. I learned this the hard way. As long as we tolerate the error of their ways they have no reason to change.

Lmao, bullshit. I been hurt, cheated on, and bullied by a f...ing man for over 15 years and he enjoyed every min what he did to me, what? your insane, no bloody way, the only help he needs his SHOOTING HIMSELF.

Well, I believe that my husband had been unhappy with his life in general for awhile and that led to his affair. I don't think it was necessarily about me being so bad or her being so appealing just that he was missing something and she happened to be there. I've told him this, and I think he'll realize I was right oneday.

Amen December. I had issues and I'm fixing myself. She says she can't forgive me or herself at this point, and I've already forgiven her and me for mine. No cheating on my part but there are things I could've done better. I want to save the marriage she doesn't. Can't control it just trying to move on. She is a beautiful person who can't see what I see. Until she does, nothing will change for her in her life. Thats so sad and it kills me but all I can do now is be her friend and be supportive of what she's trying to do. And today it sucks!

Hey Joy
my husband suffers from "Narcissistic Fucktard Syndrom" too, I just didnt have the correct diagnosis, but thanks for nailing it on the head. !!!
Dee

I think it's true. But you can't help them if they are too in the crazy to understand that's what you're trying to do. Just because my husband is acting like- well, a totally horrible child- doesn't mean he's inherently evil. It means he's screwed up, and I WISH I could help him. I sure tried. But in the end, if a person that screwed up won't admit their problems and accept help, they're just going to ruin your life, too.

I agree with this quote. But I also agree that when we suffer because of anothers treatment of us...we to some extent are allowing it.
With my spouse, things really turned ugly when I began to stand up for myself.
The quote is right though..what they need is help. Only, getting them realize this is another matter...you cannot help someone who believes they've done nothing wrong.

sounds like more excuses.. we are responsible for our actions even if we are miserable sobs we are justified to hurt others

I do agree....

I tried as well to help but I realized that I am not the right person for the job. He was too defense with me, it could never work.

Actually I'm going to agree with it because I KNOW my stbx has issues he's not dealing with. He lives with guilt and insecurity and anger and resentment and so many other feelings.

He's even said to me on a few occasions through this separation that he told me he wasn't happy because he wasn't happy with himself. That he knows it's not the best thing for him to jump into another relationship but he doesn't want to be alone, just thinking about the issues he has. He's admitted to using the relationship as a distraction. Now that doesn't mean he believes he loves the tramp ... but I think he has more insight into what's really going on with him than he wants to admit.

I don't know if I agree with the part that his suffering is spilling over other than the fact that he is an unhappy person inside and chose to throw away our marriage and tell me he was unhappy being with me. In that way, his unhappiness did spill over.

I'm sure he does need help, but he has to do it for himself and so far, he's just making the same mistakes over and over.