
Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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"When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment; he needs help. That's the message he is sending."
i have been getting daily quotes from the universe for months now - one of my ds friends introduced me to it. anyway - i am just now going thru the folder and sorting thru them - and i ran across this one. thoughts?
for me, i feel i have tried to help him. i cant do it for him tho. if he denies the help i cannot force it on him. he may be suffering and transfering it to me, but until acknowledgement from him that he realizes he is punishing those aaround him nothing can come of it.
what do you think? how does it apply to your situation?
i have been getting daily quotes from the universe for months now - one of my ds friends introduced me to it. anyway - i am just now going thru the folder and sorting thru them - and i ran across this one. thoughts?
for me, i feel i have tried to help him. i cant do it for him tho. if he denies the help i cannot force it on him. he may be suffering and transfering it to me, but until acknowledgement from him that he realizes he is punishing those aaround him nothing can come of it.
what do you think? how does it apply to your situation?
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With my spouse, things really turned ugly when I began to stand up for myself.
The quote is right though..what they need is help. Only, getting them realize this is another matter...you cannot help someone who believes they've done nothing wrong.
I tried as well to help but I realized that I am not the right person for the job. He was too defense with me, it could never work.
He's even said to me on a few occasions through this separation that he told me he wasn't happy because he wasn't happy with himself. That he knows it's not the best thing for him to jump into another relationship but he doesn't want to be alone, just thinking about the issues he has. He's admitted to using the relationship as a distraction. Now that doesn't mean he believes he loves the tramp ... but I think he has more insight into what's really going on with him than he wants to admit.
I don't know if I agree with the part that his suffering is spilling over other than the fact that he is an unhappy person inside and chose to throw away our marriage and tell me he was unhappy being with me. In that way, his unhappiness did spill over.
I'm sure he does need help, but he has to do it for himself and so far, he's just making the same mistakes over and over.