Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Ok My hubby is a firefighter who has a Pension managed by the local city goverment. It is self funded. I was told by my lawyer that I have a right to it as we have been married for 13 years and he has been working at this job 13 years. My lawyer said we we need to trade my part of his pension for another asset. I can't lay claim to it later in payments (pension rule)...plus he will get wise and go out on disability and then I won't get any anyways. So here is the problem my husband's pension is our largest asset. We have 30 K in real Estate equity and my hubby has 30K in a 401K and I have 40K in my 401K. There is no asset to trade a cash value of the money. I know he won't pay payments...So am I screwed???
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
or he gets 5k of the house value, so you only get 10k from the house.
You have more in the share value department, no?
my lawyers hired an Actuary.. and they figured out the true value of the pension when it matures.. forecast the future value...get your share...
the judge advised my Ex to buy my half of his pension back from me ....to do a trade.
you cannot get half the payments upon his retirement, because I imagine he has some time until retirement and whatever he earns during that time will not be community property.
If when you divide assets, one person cannot pay off the other, you can do a promissory note, which is a legal requirement to satisfy the debt. Or, are you planning to keep the house or sell it? That could be a way to get your share.
I learned this the hard way. My ex retired from his job days after the divorce was final and started getting his pension w/o telling his ex employer a QDRO was in the works. Now they're saying they don't know if they can pay me directly b/c he already started drawing.
BUT, because it was in the property settlement that I get half of that pension, he has to pay me out of the check he receives from his ex employer.
If your lawyer doesn't already have one, get a copy of the pension plan & distribution rules. You have a right to have a copy of this. You may have to request it in writing - have your lawyer do it.
Be sure it's in the property settlement (which should be part of the final divorce decree) that you are entitled to half of his pension AND that you remain his beneficiary for at least the amount which is currently in the fund or expected to be paid out.
Also, find out if his pension payments stop when he dies. If that's the case, you can request that he take out a life insurance policy to cover your loss of that retirement income. That should also be in the final documents. I wish I'd known about this before the final papers were signed.
I learned this the hard way. My ex retired from his job days after the divorce was final and started getting his pension w/o telling his ex employer a QDRO was in the works. Now they're saying they don't know if they can pay me directly b/c he already started drawing.
BUT, because it was in the property settlement that I get half of that pension, he has to pay me out of the check he receives from his ex employer.
If your lawyer doesn't already have one, get a copy of the pension plan & distribution rules. You have a right to have a copy of this. You may have to request it in writing - have your lawyer do it.
Be sure it's in the property settlement (which should be part of the final divorce decree) that you are entitled to half of his pension AND that you remain his beneficiary for at least the amount which is currently in the fund or expected to be paid out.
Also, find out if his pension payments stop when he dies. If that's the case, you can request that he take out a life insurance policy to cover your loss of that retirement income. That should also be in the final documents. I wish I'd known about this before the final papers were signed.