As some of you may know from my journal, my mother passed last Sat. night. It has been a very difficult time, but I know she is in a much better place and her suffering has stopped. I let my H come to the hospital that night and be with me. My problem is, I let myself get false hope again to only have it ripped from me on Sunday. His "friend" has been in visiting for over a week now, and he chose her over us. He said he would do whatever I needed, I just had to ask. I am sorry. but I shouldn't have to ask. He should just show up and do what is right. He never took the kids or anything. I was left with everything. His family helped alot. He showed up to the funeral and the shiva that day, stayed an hour and then left. He again chose to be with her. I hate him so much, but I still want him. How do I move on from this? He was uncomfortable at the funeral, but that is not my problem. Why doesn't he love me and want to be with me and the kids? I am just hurting all over.
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