Breakups & Divorce Support Group

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Out of the mouths of babes...

deleted_user
deleted_user
I just got home from my cousin's house. She was having one of those candle parties and saw family I havent seen in years. While she was asking where I lived and where I was working etc. my 6 year old comes storming in the room and says...

"My dad is mean and he doesnt like my mom. They are getting divorced!" and then he walked off.

My cousin turned to me,put her hand on my shoulder and with that sickening sympathetic look turns to me and says.. "Oh Shell..I'm sooo sorry" Good Lord! I dont want sympathy!!

Anyone else feel sickened by initial responses? i soo dont want to be THAT girl that peeps are feeling sorry for....
deleted_user
deleted_user
Church is the worst place for the 'poor you' sympathetic hugs and comments. I'm with you - just treat me like before!
downforthecount
downforthecount
For me there is nothing....

Which is worse?
deleted_user
deleted_user
YEsterday when I had Jack to get his hair cut the stylists was cutting and chatting with him. and seemingly out of nowhere he says, that mommy and daddy don't live together anymore. she was somewhat taken back, unsure of what he said and asked what?, he said mommy live at her new house. Almost seemde like he was trying to set me up and let her know I was available. Kids say the darnedest things.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I honestly think it's because they have no idea what to say or how we're feeling about it, so the "programed" responses come flowing out. That's how I look at it.
And Yes...I am with you on the sympathy b.s. too.
deleted_user
deleted_user
i think i tend to beat them to the punch so far and come off indignant. i think i tell too many. i would tell anyone and usually it was two strangers a day. yikes
deleted_user
deleted_user
I tell people not to be sorry. When they question that or say well what about the kids I ask would you rather have us living with a evil crackhead.
LarryLDN
LarryLDN
I tell them it obviously was the best thing that coulda happened. 48 hours after I was on my own a symptom that never went away from my 2002 attack disappeard. 2 months later I had my last cigarette, 6 months after that I got out of debt (first time since 1998), and this year spring/summer was the best season of my life.

I don't have any little kids to spill the beans though, if I want to tell someone, I get to do it myself when I'm good and ready
deleted_user
deleted_user
Everyone was in shock!...especially me!
deleted_user
deleted_user
My 7 year old daughter said, "I guess there is no such thing as happily ever after is there daddy?"
deleted_user
deleted_user
The people my kids have told I either don't see, because they are hubby's friends. The close people in my life already knew so anything my kids said was no shock, which was helpful. They just focused on what the kids were saying and responded with positive things for them and not negative. Which was wonderful.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm starting to hate that phrase "I'm so sorry". If they only knew how codependent I am (or was - depending), if they only knew what I see now, that I never seen over the past nine years. Then they would have something to be sorry about.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I could say the same tank....for whatever unknown reason I kept hearing in my head (stbx saying) "you only stay because you cant get anyone else" Amazing the damage they can do to our minds.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Namaste those are exactly the same words I would hear from my ex all the time! She would always tell me "You aren't anything special. You think any other woman would look at you?'

I heard those words so many times that I actually started believing them. But you know what? I really don't care anymore! If another woman never looks at me again - then so be it! At least I am rid of her.

And for when people tellme that they are sorry - i look them straight in the eye and say "Don't be, because I'm not!"
deleted_user
deleted_user
South...you're my hero :)
deleted_user
deleted_user
My son has said he hates his father and wishes he (his dad) was never born. That hurts to hear because he loved his dad so very much before all this happened.
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