Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

10,095 Members
99,335 Posts
2 Online
Relationships & Sexuality
/ Breakups & Divorce Support Group

OT: Can't and won't

deleted_user
deleted_user
Does anyone ever notice when people use the word "Can't" when they should be using "Won't"?

I can't be with you anymore.

They CAN. They just won't.

Can't alleviates ownership, whereas Won't assigns it.

How many of you use "can't" instead of "won't"?

Listen to when others talk to you, and see where they are using "can't" as to not take ownership, whereas they should be using "won't".

Comments, criticisms, credits or crucifixtions?
deleted_user
deleted_user
I agree 100%.

Another way of taking ownership (we talk about this in divorce care) is using 'You' instead of 'I' to distance ourselves from our feelings.
deleted_user
deleted_user
You know your right... I am probably guilty of this from time to time. I need to remember this.
patti22
patti22
Absolutely, I get that from certain people when they just don't feel like making it work.

Funny when they are motivated, it's no problem.
1toughcookie
1toughcookie
I do this too. I say can't but I try to remember to take ownership and crrect myself. I try to take ownership. But sometimes I do slip. Guilty!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I can't & I won't answer this question. :-p
diemjs
diemjs
What is it with you and the English language? LOL
deleted_user
deleted_user
I can't hear what you are saying--I mean then you might tell me only I can make myself an emotional wreck!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
JB:

Didn't think so, as you have to have someone explain the question! :oP

DIEMJS:
I was thinking this was more psychology than English...
diemjs
diemjs
Just playing with you TD! Was thinking of the last OT you posted. Smile:)
deleted_user
deleted_user
Yep, that's me, Captain Off-Topic. I just like to make people think, and have fun at the same time. Takes our minds off the drudge.
deleted_user
deleted_user
TD....ya KNOW my brain doesn't function till I've had at least 3 cups of coffee! It CAN'T & it WON'T! :-p
MsBlank1
MsBlank1
Can't is my stbxs favorite word.
My 7th grade teacher once said,"Can't never did anything"
I agree with you td66
deleted_user
deleted_user
i cant understand the question
deleted_user
deleted_user
So when one says 'I can't come out to play' they mean they won't come out to play? What if they really can't come out to play???????
deleted_user
deleted_user
EE You graduated magna cum laude from Smartassian School?
Posts You May Be Interested In
  • looney1

    Drought

    Posted by: looney1
    Last Reply: looney1
    7
    most of Australia is in the grip of a severe drought which is obviously affecting food prices. I am very grateful that I know how to grow food plants and that although I live in a low rainfall area we are serviced by a massive dam, so no water restrictions. The landlord also pays the water here and arranges lawn mowing. I need to remind myself that I have some things to be grateful for in...
  • Alexander429

    Intrusive thought patterns

    Posted by: Alexander429
    Last Reply: Alexander429
    4
    Has anyone had success in stopping intrusive thoughts? If I am under stress they get worse. It was really bad a few weeks ago but is improving. I wish they woud never come back. They are like a bully in the back yard. Go away!