Sometimes, I just feel like a fraud. I know in my head what I need to do, I need to detach from him, I need to feel what my head is telling me that I am strong, that I will survive, you know the good person thing, I deserve more. Somedays I feel okay - then other days it is like a big wet blanket the insecurities and the self defeating chat and the tears for the past just sneak in there and it all starts over. It truly is a roller coaster ride. I guess you can say making little steps ahead but my gawd - progress is slow.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??