Well an interesting day to say the least. Got a call from him again at work, just wanted to tell me he was okay, but last night while parked at a truckstop - truck next to him pulled out and ripped the hood off of his truck - so looks like he'll probably be down for a couple of weeks. So he thought he'd better call to tell me in case the Company called - they do with some accidents, anyways - I kind of snapped at him why would they call me given the circumstances - he was taken a back by my words - indicating to me that I was still the first person to call - What the hell! He doesn't want me as his wife - but I guess I'm good for everything else that goes on in his life. I always feel guilty for snapping back and saying stuff - so as usual, I apologized a few hours later - called to see if he made it back safely to yard - he says - oh that's okay I know how you feel - I said no you have no idea how I feel at all - then he says - that's just your mother coming out in you. As much as I love my mom - I know only too well of her shortcomings - saying things without thinking - I hear her words daily - so it just never goes away - there's always some other way - that he seems to be able to turn in the knife and make it hurt just that little bit more. One of the things he's always said to me is to speak my mind - so when I do then I get knocked down - saying that I'm just like my mother - for the record - I'm the farthest thing away from it - in fact he's more like her than I am.....oh well just another vent
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