i'll never understand why the kids become a pawn in the divorce. One uses them to hurt the other. THey are children and need love, he should appreciate every second he has and want to do as much as he can with them. I don't understand where the pettiness and selfishness comes from!

My stbx is the exact opposite. He says I have to notify him if I'm going to take the kids on a mini trip on the weekends. Sounds innocent enough right? Wrong he only does the notification thing so he can cancel our plans.

On Friday we have the car packed up ready to go away for the weekend and he has to work, but no Mr. stbx says you can't take them because I want visitation with them in the morning until I go to work at 2pm. Ok That is 4 hours right. So the kids are hurt and I take them to visitation only for him to say I just want them until 12pm WHAT he cancels our weekend for a TWO hour visit!!!!

The kids had a miserable time and in case your wondering why he cut the visit down to two hours it was so he could spend time with his trash he met on the internet that left her husband and has three kids and has had seven affairs. You know this is true because who could make up such a messed up bunch.

That's easy, it's a control thing. He's not going to do anything you ask because then you would be controlling him. Unfortunately, that is like cutting off your nose to spite your face. Of course, he doesn't realize that. Sad.

Mine made huge demands about visitation etc... and had it written into the divorce about Fathers Day and his birthday... but he barely sees them now.

He has his friends, his new bach pad close by.. and suddenly... no time for kids.
Father's Day.. he had 4 days off that weekend.. spent 3 days out of town visiting...and Father's Day with his father... spent 90min late at night with his own kids.
I think it was just huffin and puffin for the judge.. in reality he loves being single guy about town with no responsibilities of children to hold him back. Takes off for weeks now.. no telling us where to.. just goin on vacation.

Just found this in my email. Guess it explains why.

I need to let you know that I have begun dating. I plan to let the kids know on Thursday, and would prefer to tell them myself.

my stbx wants what looks good. he will bore of his role as a single dad soon enough and to leave like he did, shows who comes first. sounds like yours thinks similarly

I soooo dislike jerks!

I don't think it is healthy or wise to make assumptions about why he doesn't want an extra weekend. A new life does require some time to build and if you work through the week there has to be time taken to start. Organizing these things can require time and a person can't remain transient if they are spending the time they need to begin self rediscovery. Seeing the kids can also be a painful experience especially saying goodbye to them at the end.